Friday, 31 August 2012
KF Airlines -The Hijack Proof Airline
But there was one reason why K F A still drew passengers; it was hijack proof.
And this is how it earned its reputation.
It happened some months back.
Two of the three hijackers on KFA Flight 333, who had dozed off to sleep,woke up and sprang out of their seats brandishing things that looked like sharp weapons. One of them takes hold of the stewardess and yells for all the passengers to hear, "Don't move. This is a hijack. We are taking this plane to Karachi."
"Wait a minute," says a passenger who looks like a banker, "you can't take this plane. My bank has already seized it to recover dues owned by the company. This plane is going to Mumbai to be auctioned." "Just hold on,"says the hijacker, "let me check the tickets. We could be on the wrong flight." After checking his tickets he says, "We are on the correct flight. To hell with your bank."
One of the hijackers moves towards the cockpit taking the stewardess along while the second one stands guard in the isle. Meanwhile the third hijacker takes his place at the rear.
The cockpit door is jerked open and the hijacker rushes in and shuts it. "There is no need to panic. Stay calm.This is a hijack. If you do as you are told your life will be spared."
Seeing the surprised look on the pilot's face, the hijacker asked, "Who are you?"
"I am the steward, not the pilot," said the uniformed person in the pilot's seat. "The pilots are on strike because they haven't been paid salaries for the last three months."
"Then, who is flying this plane?" asked the hijacker, a little nervous now. "Nobody is," said the steward, "we haven't even taken off."
The turn of events shocks the hijacker, but he quickly recovers. "I must have dozed off. Can you fly this plane?" he asks the steward. "But I don't have a licence," says the steward. "What if I hold a box cutter to your head?" the hijacker threatens. "Then maybe," says the steward, "but there still is one problem. We don't have fuel."
"What?" the hijacker asks.
"The oil companies won't give us fuel because we still owe them a lot of money," the steward blurts out.
The hijacker thinks for a while and then pulls out his satellite phone and makes a call to Karachi. "Karachi, we have a problem. Can you wire some 10,000 dollars to the KFA account to buy some aviation fuel?" Karachi agrees, but the money has to be routed through a series of offshore
accounts to hide the source and this takes some time.
Meanwhile the hijacker yells for the stewardess. "Bring me some coffee."
"Sorry sir," says the stewardess, "but the company cut coffee, biscuits and toffees from the menu to pay the mortgage on the boss's luxury villa."
After what seems like an hour a fuel tanker drives to the plane and unloads its contents.
"Can we take off now?" the hijacker asks. "I don't think we can take off, because this plane has only one engine," says the steward. "What happened to the other one?" asks the hijacker.
"It is being used to power the boss's Formula 1 car."
The hijacker is stunned. He then gets angry that the hijack has gone horribly wrong and yells. "I want to talk to your boss." The frightened steward calls up the boss and gives the phone to the hijacker who listens for a while and then hands it back. "What did he say?" the steward asks.
"Nothing. The mobile company said his SIM card was deactivated because bills were not paid for the last six months," says the hijacker and walks out.
And that's how K F A got the reputation of being the hijack-proof airline of the world.
To all my friends!! I do wish you enough!
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough".
The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom".
They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?".
Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?".
"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.
"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?".
She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone". She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said , 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE....
To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH!!!
Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy
Aussie Healthcare System - Humour
"Hello."
"Mrs. Sanders, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well... We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs.Sanders.
"Normally we can, but MEDICARE will only pay for these expensive tests once."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The MEDICARE Helpdesk recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
Washington DC ticket Agent exposes the American stock!
Monday, 27 August 2012
The Irresistible Mango
27 Aug 2012
Just can't help thinking of you guys when I am savouring these delicious and sugary sweet (..and very very expensive) Chausa mangoes – in season these past two weeks! They crazily give you a high – and even though I feel I can and want to eat a hundred of them at one sitting, can hardly finish just one because of the concentrated goodness of every thinkable kind all squeezed into one single mango.
Last week I bought 2kgs of humongously large Chausa from a passing rehriwala in front of the house at Rs.40 a kilo and got only four – thought I was on top of the world when they turned out to be juicy, sugary and delicious. But this week, bought six smaller ones weighing a little over 2kgs at double of last week's price at Rs.80 a kilo – and OMG…. The first one has shot me through the roof. What wonderful taste, what wonderful feeling…. Truly, I miss y'all my loved ones, like never before!
The mango season in India this year was delayed by two weeks due to adverse weather conditions – perhaps due to the impact of Cyclone Thane on mango season in southern India. (Its not uncommon to read Mango-related weather articles, which are often alarmist — hailstorms kill mango trees! Cold weather kills mangoes!) The quality this year was reportedly good. Prices are higher not only due to late emergence but also due to higher demand than last year. Since Indian mangoes are unique in taste and very fragrant, the demand is always high irrespective of the prices.
Mangoes are objects of envy, love and rivalry as well as a new status symbol for India's neo-riche. Mangoes have even been tools of diplomacy. The allure is foremost about the taste but also about anticipation and uncertainty: Many believe India has only two seasons: monsoon and mango. Monsoon season replenishes India's soil. Mango season, more than a few literary types have suggested, helps replenish India's soul. Unfortunately the Mango season here lasts only about 100 days, traditionally from late March through June; it is vulnerable to weather; and usually brings some sort of mango crisis, real or imagined.
India annually produces about 15 million tons of mangoes, roughly 40 percent of global production. Between 40 and 60 varieties are sold commercially - samples of different mango varieties are preserved by government research institutes to protect against extinction.
Reporting on India's mango mania, an article in the New York Times rightly sums up: Almost every state in India has its own mango jingoism; if love of mangoes is nearly universal for Indians, so is disagreement over which variety is best – the people being fiercely parochial about mangoes. For most southerners and those from the west-coast of India it is the Aapus or Alphonso (a product of the Konkan belt), considered far superior to the Safeda, Dussheri, Langda and the Chausa – which make their appearance in that order in north-Indian markets.
While Europeans have learnt to appreciate the Indian Mango, one pities the Americans who for some reason seem to have no taste buds at all…. Their supermarkets have only the Mexican varieties, like Ataulfo and Haden— large and plump, just insipid heavy pulp and utterly tasteless with no fragrance.
The allure and nostalgia of mango season for Indians worldwide is undeniable. Some Indians living abroad fly home for a visit during mango season. Generations of Indians still recall their mothers warning that eating too many mangoes can bring outbreaks of pimples. It is not uncommon for the up and coming younger generations to want to know: "How can a person safely gorge on mangoes without breaking out in pimples?"
Sunday, 26 August 2012
The Assam situation; and mass exodus of north-easterners from southern states.
The loss of confidence in institutional management of society seemed total. Now we know how in future our new generations will act and our official agencies will sit back and watch this 'entertainment'. We as a nation are sitting ducks to be knocked out into dust by mere SMS, and not a bullet fired.
This exodus illustrates that we do not have an effective Civil Defence System on ground. Any small disciplined organisation can create absolute chaos by using rumours . Let us see how our district police units worked. Did we have a counter action system on ground to wave away rumours. Why did no DM hold any press conference to deny rumours. Why were the Police chiefs also absent from streets to prevent the human exit from their districts. Was it because no crime was committed?
The people have lost trust in the khaki uniform to be their guardian angels. This is very unfortunate. In six decades we have allowed the police system to only slide down and our words do not carry weight in people's mind. This is a time of trial for our system which is supposed to serve the people.
We can't and shouldn't cry down migrations... Greener pastures and aspirations for bettering one's exposure and opportunities for jobs and lifestyles will always remain a motivating factor. There are advantages and disadvantages!
Do Police need to have real time communication with people on state police websites and twitter and facebook? How useful is using state power to shut down sites etc and demonstrate effectiveness of force?
Police recruitment policies should factor in representation of all significant minorities. NYPD follows this, and Delhi Police at one stage during the 1980s focussed on recruiting from various parts of India - enabling them to present themselves as everyone's police force and getting valuable intelligence resources in the process.
Saturday, 18 August 2012
Sardarni Jokes
A plane is on its way to Chandigarh, when Gurpreet in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket she then tells Gurpreet that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a sardarni sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won't move back to her seat.
The co-pilot goes back to Gurpreet and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. Gurpreet replies, "I'm Sardarni, I'm a beautiful model, I'm going to Chandigarh and I'm staying right here."
The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this sardarni who won't listen to reason.
The pilot says, "You say she is a sardarni? I'll handle this; I'm married to a sardarni. I speak sardar's language."
He goes back to Gurpreet and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, I'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy..
"I told her, "first class isn't going to Chandigarh."X_X
Friday, 17 August 2012
Lionel's Biopsy of Prostate & Appendix operation
From: Leo Cunha on 10 August 2012:
maxie & arun
am sorry to hear of lionel. elfahoist is his business id. his personal email contact is: lvamanna@hotmail.com
i can't locate his cell phn # .....
-------------------------------------------
Sincerely
Raphael Maliakal
--------------------------------------------------------
Lionel said Doctor's advise is for a week's rest for him and he should be up and doing thereafter. He even added that he is planning to meet Raphael at his hotel near the airport in 2 weeks from now.
Warm regards,
Peter
thank you peter ......... for this update. we are relieved to hear of lionel's progress...... hope he continues recuperating to normalcy.
best wishes .... leo
Thanks a lot for supporting me with your prayers & well wishhes for my successful operation which went off very well.
It was found that my appendix had enlarged to almost 10 cm. in length and was about to rupture & the operation was just in nick of time. It was also found to be non malignant.
And now coming to my prostate gland biopsy, thank GOD out of all the 13 samples they had taken all the samples were found to be non malignant.
So my heartfelt thanks to GOD ALMIGHTY & all of you who have been enquiring about my health and praying for me.
Please pass on this message to all our class mates as my computor knowledge is limitd.
HIP HIP HORRAY
Lionel V.Amanna
-----------------------------------------------
When I read the recent correspondence that has been coming my way from all of you, I felt happy to know that Lionel was better, but at the same time I felt guilty and depressed to learn that I was the only one who has been missing from the circle during these past few years. I can assure you however that I have been faithfully reading all your letters, and I am looking forward to the time when I can join you all. The reason why I have not written is simply because I have nothing much to contribute, but I am deeply interested in reading all the experiences that you all have had, and I enjoy even more the snaps that you send out. All those snaps are carefully lined up in my computer. When I do come over to India however I shall certainly try to see you all.
Take care, and God bless.
---------------------------------
On 19 August 2012 21:33, Arun Talwar wrote:
Thursday, 16 August 2012
A Cure for Headaches
The headache was really killing him, so Prafulbhai went home and, very sceptically, tried out what the doctor told him. And guess what, the headache vanished!
So Prafulbhai goes running back to the doc, and says "Doctor, doctor, where did you learn this amazing cure?"
And the doctor replies modestly, "Oh that's nothing. They taught us this on our very first day in medical school"
"Really?" says Prafulbhai, "This is what they taught you in medical school?"
"Yes, of course. They said for headache you should always prescribe anal gin"
Friday, 10 August 2012
Mangalore meeting August 7, 2012 : Raphael's account
Friday, 3 August 2012
Arun's visit to Putney
To all classmates from: Maxwell Pereira on 2 August 2012
Dear all (...and especially Arun)
Just a little update from London....
Considering dear Chand's post-operative delicate health condition still, he had decided it was better for him to make the trip alone, so we could meet.
He took off by train from Cardiff (...where he lives and runs his clinic) at 6:30am to arrive at London's Victoria Terminus around 10:30 and take the Metro connection to reach Putney (...where I live with my son). I collected him at 11am from Putney East Station.
We walked around then and eventually settled ourselves in a pub - The White Horse on Putney main street - for a chat and catching up, over a glass of shandy each. We ended up also having our lunch there too - Fisherman's pie and grilled sea-bass with veggies and fries, pretty good!
We remembered each of you in our conversation (..and those gone before us too) spects as remembered from our school days, pranks, games, activities and girlfriends (...if not really girlriends, at least wished for members of the opp sex, eyed with a doorbeen and targetted etc etc) and reminisced on our last reunion meet (...including the 'not enough' holiday on the island resort off Kundapur - and the talkative Muthu's food!) etc etc etc...
Finally we walked down to my son Tony's house couple of blocks away on Enmore Road for a short while and had tea, before I walked him back to the tube station for his return journey. He was taking the coach back to Cardiff from Victoria, he had indicated.
Enlosed here are a couple of pictures of yesterday from my camera!
It was very kind and gracious of you Arun, to have taken a day off inconveniencing yourself from your daily routine, leaving Chand alone, rescheduling your patients, etc... just to see me, and make the trip all the way to Putney, London! Thank you so much.
(BTW...... India's performance till now at the Olympics has been pathetic. I had hoped we would better our tally of three (including one gold) won at the last 2008-Beijing Olympics. But so far we have only one bronze in the bag. Sad.)
With best wishes and warm regards to all...
Maxie
--------------
You have been sent 5 pictures.
IMG_1602.JPG
IMG_1603.JPG
IMG_1606.JPG
IMG_1608.JPG
IMG_1607.JPG
These pictures were sent with Picasa, from Google.
Try it out here: http://picasa.google.com/
Thursday, 2 August 2012
My Mentor and my Hero. I am who I am, because of you. I miss you and will love you for eternity.
May the angles in heaven continue to sing your glory! Hallelujah!!
The Course that's been changing lives in Mumbai (Bombay)
Few in the city know about the evening course at the college. Started 24 years ago, the commerce section is perhaps a little out of sync with the loud Malhar and the campus fashion a sharp contrast to what one sees in top colleges. Also, most students don't return to a home or comforting security each day. Principal Errol Fernandes said, "The morning section was started to provide excellent education. The criterion to admit students is merit. The evening classes were started to cater to the distressed section of society and give them hope of a better life."
The classes begin with a short prayer of silence. "Students are asked to take a deep breath so they can get rid of the grime and tiredness of the day," Fernandes explained.
As the section enters its silver jubilee year, it has turned autonomous. Unlike other colleges, the attendance here is high, probably because the reason to study is different. There are no free lectures, and very often extra classes for weaker students are held on the train, during the faculty's journey back home.
For long, excellent education has mostly been the privilege of the moneyed and the meritorious. The commerce section at St Xavier's was started with the aim of breaking away from that norm. "These students are the ones who really need the help," said economics professor Kamaji Bokare. "The rate of change of life you see here is really high."
Akshay Shetty, who used to run a roadside stall outside Old Custom's House, is today a senior executive at a mutual fund firm. "I went on to do my master's and am also a cost accountant. The biggest change has been the respect I get today," says a proud Shetty. Till about five years ago, Prabhakar Poojary was a canteen boy in BEST earning Rs 600 a month. Today, he heads the Singapore, Dubai and Mauritius markets of a private fund and takes home an enviable pay packet of Rs 30 lakh. "When tough life becomes a routine, the rest becomes easy," he says.
Teachers take pride in the fact that two ex-students have made the Indian Institute of Management-Ahmedabad—one is the vice-president of a private bank—but most importantly, they speak of the values the course has instilled in their students. Ravi Gaba was always a bright student; he bagged several cash awards in his years at St Xavier's. "When he graduated, he gave us all the cash prizes (totaling Rs 18,000) that he had won and said he wanted to leave it back for another needy student," recalled accounts professor Rajesh Vora.
Going to college means different things to different people. For some, collegiate education rebuilds their lives, for some others it is the bridge to a better path. For many others, it's a plunge out of a dark night...to a day that shines as bright as the lights on the campus they walk to each evening.
Keep Well, Keep smiling............................
"Helping people secure tomorrow TODAY"