Friday, 31 August 2012

KF Airlines -The Hijack Proof Airline

The Kompletely F****d Airlines (KFA) was on the brink. Its pilots were on strike and staff had not been paid salaries for six months. Banks, which had lent huge sums of money, were closing in.
But there was one reason why K F A still drew passengers; it was hijack proof.
And this is how it earned its reputation.
It happened some months back.
Two of the three hijackers on KFA Flight 333, who had dozed off to sleep,woke up and sprang out of their seats brandishing things that looked like sharp weapons. One of them takes hold of the stewardess and yells for all the passengers to hear, "Don't move. This is a hijack. We are taking this plane to Karachi."
"Wait a minute," says a passenger who looks like a banker, "you can't take this plane. My bank has already seized it to recover dues owned by the company. This plane is going to Mumbai to be auctioned." "Just hold on,"says the hijacker, "let me check the tickets. We could be on the wrong flight." After checking his tickets he says, "We are on the correct flight. To hell with your bank."
One of the hijackers moves towards the cockpit taking the stewardess along while the second one stands guard in the isle. Meanwhile the third hijacker takes his place at the rear.
The cockpit door is jerked open and the hijacker rushes in and shuts it. "There is no need to panic. Stay calm.This is a hijack. If you do as you are told your life will be spared."
Seeing the surprised look on the pilot's face, the hijacker asked, "Who are you?"
"I am the steward, not the pilot," said the uniformed person in the pilot's seat. "The pilots are on strike because they haven't been paid salaries for the last three months."
"Then, who is flying this plane?" asked the hijacker, a little nervous now. "Nobody is," said the steward, "we haven't even taken off."
The turn of events shocks the hijacker, but he quickly recovers. "I must have dozed off. Can you fly this plane?" he asks the steward. "But I don't have a licence," says the steward. "What if I hold a box cutter to your head?" the hijacker threatens. "Then maybe," says the steward, "but there still is one problem. We don't have fuel."
"What?" the hijacker asks.
"The oil companies won't give us fuel because we still owe them a lot of money," the steward blurts out.
The hijacker thinks for a while and then pulls out his satellite phone and makes a call to Karachi. "Karachi, we have a problem. Can you wire some 10,000 dollars to the KFA account to buy some aviation fuel?" Karachi agrees, but the money has to be routed through a series of offshore
accounts to hide the source and this takes some time.
Meanwhile the hijacker yells for the stewardess. "Bring me some coffee."
"Sorry sir," says the stewardess, "but the company cut coffee, biscuits and toffees from the menu to pay the mortgage on the boss's luxury villa."
After what seems like an hour a fuel tanker drives to the plane and unloads its contents.
"Can we take off now?" the hijacker asks. "I don't think we can take off, because this plane has only one engine," says the steward. "What happened to the other one?" asks the hijacker.
"It is being used to power the boss's Formula 1 car."
The hijacker is stunned. He then gets angry that the hijack has gone horribly wrong and yells. "I want to talk to your boss." The frightened steward calls up the boss and gives the phone to the hijacker who listens for a while and then hands it back. "What did he say?" the steward asks.
"Nothing. The mobile company said his SIM card was deactivated because bills were not paid for the last six months," says the hijacker and walks out.
And that's how K F A got the reputation of being the hijack-proof airline of the world.

To all my friends!! I do wish you enough!

Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure..
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough".
The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom".
They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?".
Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?".
"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.
"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?".
She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone". She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said , 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE....
To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH!!!
Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy

Aussie Healthcare System - Humour

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,
"Hello."
"Mrs. Sanders, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well... We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs.Sanders.
"Normally we can, but MEDICARE will only pay for these expensive tests once."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The MEDICARE Helpdesk recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Washington DC ticket Agent exposes the American stock!

Got this in my email forwards circuit....
Possibly, Raphael will appreciate this one more than others... !!!!
 
In God We Trust, because these people run this country (USA)!!!
 
A Washington DC 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of why the US is in so much trouble!
 
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
 
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in South Africa..'' His response -- click..
 
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me! I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!'' (OMG)
 
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''  I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)
 
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
 
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
 
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..
 
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
 
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
 
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
 
11. Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
 
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''' Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man. After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
 
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
 
Could ANYONE be this DUMB? YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.
Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!
I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.

Monday, 27 August 2012

The Irresistible Mango

27 Aug 2012

Just can't help thinking of you guys when I am savouring these delicious and sugary sweet (..and very very expensive) Chausa mangoes – in season these past two weeks! They crazily give you a high – and even though I feel I can and want to eat a hundred of them at one sitting, can hardly finish just one because of the concentrated goodness of every thinkable kind all squeezed into one single mango.

Last week I bought 2kgs of humongously large Chausa from a passing rehriwala in front of the house at Rs.40 a kilo and got only four – thought I was on top of the world when they turned out to be juicy, sugary and delicious. But this week, bought six smaller ones weighing a little over 2kgs at double of last week's price at Rs.80 a kilo – and OMG…. The first one has shot me through the roof. What wonderful taste, what wonderful feeling…. Truly, I miss y'all my loved ones, like never before!

The mango season in India this year was delayed by two weeks due to adverse weather conditions – perhaps due to the impact of Cyclone Thane on mango season in southern India. (Its not uncommon to read Mango-related weather articles, which are often alarmist — hailstorms kill mango trees! Cold weather kills mangoes!) The quality this year was reportedly good. Prices are higher not only due to late emergence but also due to higher demand than last year. Since Indian mangoes are unique in taste and very fragrant, the demand is always high irrespective of the prices.

Mangoes are objects of envy, love and rivalry as well as a new status symbol for India's neo-riche. Mangoes have even been tools of diplomacy. The allure is foremost about the taste but also about anticipation and uncertainty: Many believe India has only two seasons: monsoon and mango. Monsoon season replenishes India's soil. Mango season, more than a few literary types have suggested, helps replenish India's soul. Unfortunately the Mango season here lasts only about 100 days, traditionally from late March through June; it is vulnerable to weather; and usually brings some sort of mango crisis, real or imagined.

India annually produces about 15 million tons of mangoes, roughly 40 percent of global production. Between 40 and 60 varieties are sold commercially - samples of different mango varieties are preserved by government research institutes to protect against extinction.

Reporting on India's mango mania, an article in the New York Times rightly sums up: Almost every state in India has its own mango jingoism; if love of mangoes is nearly universal for Indians, so is disagreement over which variety is best – the people being fiercely parochial about mangoes. For most southerners and those from the west-coast of India it is the Aapus or Alphonso (a product of the Konkan belt), considered far superior to the Safeda, Dussheri, Langda and the Chausa – which make their appearance in that order in north-Indian markets.

While Europeans have learnt to appreciate the Indian Mango, one pities the Americans who for some reason seem to have no taste buds at all…. Their supermarkets have only the Mexican varieties, like Ataulfo and Haden— large and plump, just insipid heavy pulp and utterly tasteless with no fragrance.

The allure and nostalgia of mango season for Indians worldwide is undeniable. Some Indians living abroad fly home for a visit during mango season. Generations of Indians still recall their mothers warning that eating too many mangoes can bring outbreaks of pimples. It is not uncommon for the up and coming younger generations to want to know: "How can a person safely gorge on mangoes without breaking out in pimples?"


Sunday, 26 August 2012

The Assam situation; and mass exodus of north-easterners from southern states.

25 August 2012:
(…..compiled from reports in various newspapers, television and other media including the Economist of UK, and analytical discourses in various discussion forums on internet and elsewhere)

Introduction
The mass exodus from our southern cities by thousands of panicked fellow Indians of the north-eastern region returning to their homes earlier this month has underscored deep social fissures in our country, as also the power of social media and the peril of weak political leadership – according to analysts quoted in the media over the last two weeks.
Hate messages and threats spread on social net-working sites of supposed violence against northeasterners studying or working in major southern cities/States, sparked off fear among tens of thousands of such people – the main cause for this panic that triggered the move for en masse return to their native states.
Intelligence agencies were quick to identify the source of these hate messages with fake and morphed images of torture and mutilation as emanating from Pakistani websites, and the government lost no time in ordering the blocking of these rumour-spreading rogue sites including accounts on facebook and twitter.

Brief backgrounder
Not everyone is aware of the full facts. In brief, on July 6th, a month after an altercation at a mosque in Assam run by (non-Muslim) tribesmen in north-east India, four men on motorcycles shot and killed two Muslims. Six weeks later, some 80 people were killed in communal bloodletting; the army was deployed in Assam with orders to shoot to kill.

It was then that tens of thousands of north-easterners in other parts of India suddenly fled homeward in fear of their lives; India accused Pakistanis of being the origin of doctored video messages designed to stir up religious hatred; and 400,000-500,000 Indians are alleged to be homeless or displaced within Assam, statedly the largest involuntary movement of people inside the country since independence. How on earth did a local conflict, one of many in the area, produce such devastating nationwide consequences?

Analytical summary of events
As per reports in newspapers, television and other media, the spark for the extraordinary sequence of events was the fight in western Assam between indigenous Bodo tribesmen (pronounced Boro) and Bengali-speaking people. The Bodo claim (…a claim vehemently supported by the opposition parties in India's parliament) that the incomers are illegal immigrants from Bangladesh and want them kicked out.

The migrants are mostly Muslim. The Bodo are animist or Christian. It is alleged that Muslim population in the State has grown in the three decades to 2001; this, not necessarily the reason for the latest violence. In some villages now the Bodo are supposed to be a minority. They say they feel swamped by Muslim immigrants.

However, the conflict is not primarily about religion. It is about land. The Bodo hold land in common. The Bengali-speakers are settled farmers, anxious to establish private-property rights as protection against dispossession. In 2003, after a long, violent campaign for autonomy, the Bodo got their own Bodo Territorial Council, on whose turf outsiders may not own property. The Bodo consider all Muslims outsiders—hence the dispute at the mosque.

Assam's conflict has been going on for decades. A massacre in 1983 was far more brutal than this year's violence. Yet until now the dispute, like other insurgencies of the north-east, has had no real impact elsewhere in the country.

This time, there were riots in Mumbai and attacks in nearby Pune on people from Manipur. According to some reports some 30,000 north-easterners fled from Bangalore, nine of them being thrown off a moving train. Governments countered these claims, but HT Sangliana – a north-easterner, but former DGP of Karnataka, former BJP MP from Bangalore, and current Vice-Chairman of the country's Minority Commission – pleaded in an interview on national televion that complaints of mal-treatment of north-easterners should not be ignored by the government; they need to be verified. Amidst the panic, it appeared like some authorities encouraged the exodus by laying on special trains: reportedly 30,000 tickets to Guwahati, Assam's capital, were sold in three days.

The impact of mobile phones with almost everybody today, has made a difference. On August 12th people started getting text messages warning north-easterners to go home before the end of Ramzan (August 20th). They also got video messages with doctored images purporting to show the bodies of Muslims killed in Assam – images that were in fact of victims of Cyclone Nargis in 2008 in Myanmar.

Based on intelligence inputs, Union Home Secretary RK Singh appeared on national television to disclose that the mischievous websites that spread the messages were identified as from Pakistan and Home Minister Shinde asked for the Pakistani government's help in closing them down. Pakistan denied involvement, following which India ordered the blocking of over 250 websites and asked mobile-service providers to restrict the number of SMS messages. Yet the images have gone viral.

The Assam conflict also spread because people elsewhere sought to capitalize on it. Mumbai saw rival protests by a big Muslim organization – the Raza Academy, then a big Hindu one, by the Maharashtra Navnirman Samiti. The opposition (Hindu-nationalist) Bharatiya Janata Party said Assam's problem is illegal immigration from Bangladesh. Tarun Gogoi, the chief Minister of Assam which is ruled by the Congress party, countered bluntly "…there are no Bangladeshis in the clash but Indian citizens." The Assam conflict has not been such partisan fodder before.

What now for possible action:
It may be likely and hoped that these reverberations across the rest of the country will force the Central Government to focus at last on the chronic failings of its policy in the north-east. Linked to the rest of the country only by a "chicken's neck" stretch of land 22km wide, the region has remained isolated, poor and different. Assam, easily the biggest state in the north-east, is one of India's poorest. With a mixture of oriental mongoloid features in various degrees, North-easterners look different: and take offense at being called "Chinky". It is not uncommon though for North-easterners to call the rest of the country "mainland India".

Over the decades since India's independence one of the manifestations of this distinctiveness is the persistence of insurgencies in the region. The Institute for Conflict Management, a think-tank, lists 26 active armed groups in the region, and ten organizations proscribed by India's home ministry. Five of the seven states are troubled by armed separatists. In the early 2000s the death toll was reportedly 1,700 a year.

Dealing with such a region was always going to be hard. Yet successive governments have made things worse. They have attempted to placate insurgent groups by giving them more autonomy. The north-east has 16 such areas, more than the rest of India. But giving each group a place of its own creates restive new minorities within the area—as in Bodoland.

National politicians have also shied away from dealing with illegal migration, partly because the issue is toxic and partly because local politicians like to register newcomers as voters. For a while, Assam even had its own immigration policy, until that was struck down by the Supreme Court. By letting ambiguity about incomers' legal status persist, politicians leave the field open to armed extremists who want to kick all Muslims out.

The report card over the past decades indicates that the successive Central governments have attempted to buy peace. Between 20% and 55% of north-eastern states' GDP comes in fund transfers from the centre—a huge proportion. It keeps their economies going, but turns local governments into client states surrounded by autonomous areas ruled by former insurgents, while armed gangs wage guerrilla campaigns at the margins.

On the other side of the coin, there is reason to believe that there have been some improvements in the region. Fatalities have fallen since 2008, thanks to a deal with Bangladesh which denied some insurgents their former bases. But as is clear from the Bodo conflict, the grievances which produced the insurgencies remain. India's long-term goals in the region are to encourage its integration with the rest of the country, to use the north-east to boost economic ties with South-East Asia, and to check China's influence in Myanmar. At the moment, none of those aims is being advanced.

From a policing perspective…

i) The cause of exodus of residents hailing from NE areas to return home are SMS texts originating from Pakistan. It is indeed shameful to admit/allege that a neighbouring country was able to intrude our communication system and networks. However, we need to revisit the knee-jerk strategy adopted by the Government as immediate remedy to tackle this menace - and examine whether at all the answer really lies in blocking social net-working sites or in harnessing their potential for initiatives and positive propaganda to counter - by beating the enemy using their own stick! We need to be progressive in our approach. Banning a thing comes naturally to us. Our intelligence and understanding of issues will be better appreciated if we can be one up on technology, and harness the same for our greater benefit.

But I pray, while doing so, let us not ride on the Pakistani canard alone - the majority of sites (..over two third) identified for blocking are still non-Pakistani – possibly by Muslims and others in India too. Veteran journalist John Dayal has posted on his facebook page that 20% of these sites were by Hindus. So what in the name of follow up is being done about this? ...and why no hype on this score?

ii) Governmental responses:
(….role of DMs and SPs, the state leaderships in the IAS and IPS, and of political leaders).
That such mischief (…be it by Pakistanis, or others) could be expected, what has amazed all is that everyone sat down to watch this exodus continue without meaningful intervention. In silence it appeared all approved of this movement. Where were the MPs, MLAs in south India, the various CMs, religous leaders and social activists who survive on official doles. They all seem to have gone home to hole up. Where were the DMs and the police chiefs assuring the people to stay back for they will keep them safe. No DM held any press conference to deny rumours. Police chiefs were also absent from streets to prevent the human exit from their districts. Where were the employers of these people to tell them to stay back and promise them protection.

iii) Lessons to be learnt:
The loss of confidence in institutional management of society seemed total. Now we know how in future our new generations will act and our official agencies will sit back and watch this 'entertainment'. We as a nation are sitting ducks to be knocked out into dust by mere SMS, and not a bullet fired.
This exodus illustrates that we do not have an effective Civil Defence System on ground. Any small disciplined organisation can create absolute chaos by using rumours . Let us see how our district police units worked. Did we have a counter action system on ground to wave away rumours. Why did no DM hold any press conference to deny rumours. Why were the Police chiefs also absent from streets to prevent the human exit from their districts. Was it because no crime was committed?
The people have lost trust in the khaki uniform to be their guardian angels. This is very unfortunate. In six decades we have allowed the police system to only slide down and our words do not carry weight in people's mind. This is a time of trial for our system which is supposed to serve the people.

iv) Migrations:
A point in issue that popped up in discussion forums is the question why at all did so many thousands had to leave their homes in the NE in search of jobs in far off places? Then is it that in their work place they were exploited, and they could visit their homes only once a while at enormous cost of travel and loss of wages? In the 60 years after Independence what have the Governments – at the Centre and State, done to provide employment to the youth of NE? Instead of going into the reasons for this hapless lot to leave their homes, is it just our diversionary tactic to throw the blame on someone else… ?
Migration is an interesting phenomenon when looking at social development. A lot of positives cab be seen when there is movement of people for jobs. Such churning would dissolve firmly held social practices which otherwise we want to eradicate but find it difficult to. Its also an important factor showing more upward mobility of a nation when lots of people opt for migration for economic betterment.
We can't and shouldn't cry down migrations... Greener pastures and aspirations for bettering one's exposure and opportunities for jobs and lifestyles will always remain a motivating factor. There are advantages and disadvantages!
Nobody cried over Bihari migrations when at one stage (...and perhaps still do) they flooded the cities of the country to escape the conditions in their home state (.....just an example - I am not singling out any particular state). Wherever the Biharis went, with their endeavour and intellect they contributed to the development and prosperity of the chosen cities/states - enough to be feared by locals of a Bihari dominance if not Bihari take-over! Giving rise to local goons in the name of partisan interests to become heros and even national power wielders in their quest to oust the outsiders. I don't need to name places where this has happened.
But sticking to the north-east, those of us who served in the north-eastern states know how very clannish the local communities can be in their attitude towards outsiders. But when outside their own local environment/ communities/ and State, they are the friendliest of people. I remember when I was a college student in Bangalore in the '60s some of my best friends were Nagas, Manipuris, Khasis and other north-easterners who flooded Bangalore even in those days for higher studies and in search of class and culture.
As it should be, the north-easterners (and particularly some prominent tribes from the region) have taken full advantage of the tribal concessions and reservations to join the All India  and Central Services in large numbers. Whichever be the cadre to which they were/are allocated, I fear at any given point in time a large number of them if not the majority, would be serving in their own state - having wangled a berth back home by hook or by crook even on deputation through local political connections and obvious mismanagement by cadre authorities fanned by reluctance on the part of cadre officers to serve in the north-east... !
In the circumstances, over the last decade or so I have viewed the tendency for youngsters from the north-east moving out for jobs elsewhere in the country - and not necessarily only for studies - as a great positive and something to be encouraged !!!!!!  
 Shunning their "frog-in-the-well" attitude to life and venturing out of their cocoon comfort zones to take up jobs elsewhere is a wonderful development; which shows their acceptance of and growing confidence in the country which they are part of; something the country could not achieve in the 50-years prior to this decade! Today it is common to find Mizos and Nagas serving as shop assistants and waiters in restaurants - a sight by no stretch of imagination that could be dreamed of earlier!
Hence there is a great stake involved here for the nation - of restoring that confidence - which has been shattered and lost among our north-eastern brethren by the recent conspiracy ingeniously engineered by spreading rumours through the social-network medium.
Zeroing on Police functions, the phenomenon of migration needs to be understood by the police and appropriate response devised. An urgent need is apparent to have better and well thought out strategies to deal with problems of crime arising out of migration, rather than blaming migration for problems. It would be worthwhile to group-think on this issue on social discussion forums, on the current background of the Assam related rumour-mongering on social media.
Do Police need to have real time communication with people on state police websites and twitter and facebook? How useful is using state power to shut down sites etc and demonstrate effectiveness of force?
Police recruitment policies should factor in representation of all significant minorities. NYPD follows this, and Delhi Police at one stage during the 1980s focussed on recruiting from various parts of India - enabling them to present themselves as everyone's police force and getting valuable intelligence resources in the process.
Formation of social bodies and NGOs representing minorities should be encouraged. Leaders who emerge out of such organic growth should be engaged with and recognized.
Localities and public places, including places of worship, frequented by specific minorities should be mapped out and festivals.
IPS officers, who have some minority connection, should be tasked with being 'brand ambassadors' for inclusive policing.

Finally, as one of the senior retired police officers commented on a web discussion forum: "….one wonders why the younger generation is not so assertive to retain a social order around themselves. Is this generation of 'Dum Maro Dum' thinking?"

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Sardarni Jokes

Got this one as a 'forward' in the email circuit...
Perhaps you have got this one before....
Is the myth of the pitch black thick and long plaited elegant sardarnis giving way to 'blond' sardarnis too in their midst... ?

A plane is on its way to Chandigarh, when Gurpreet in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket she then tells Gurpreet that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.
 
Gurpreet replies, "I'm Sardarni, I'm a beautiful model, I'm going to Chandigarh and I'm staying right here."

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a sardarni sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won't move back to her seat.
 
The co-pilot goes back to Gurpreet and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. Gurpreet replies, "I'm Sardarni, I'm a beautiful model, I'm going to Chandigarh and I'm staying right here."
 
The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this sardarni who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "You say she is a sardarni? I'll handle this; I'm married to a sardarni. I speak sardar's language."
 
He goes back to Gurpreet and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, I'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy..
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

"I told her, "first class isn't going to Chandigarh."X_X

Friday, 17 August 2012

Lionel's Biopsy of Prostate & Appendix operation

...email dt 10 August 2012 from Maxwell to Lionel (...also copied to all classmates for their information too):
Dear Lionel,
Learnt from Arun Talwar that you were scheduled to undergo surgery on Aug-06 for appendicitis plus a prostate related intervention.
Hope all's well, the surgery was a success, and you are recovering well....
For some reason, he (Arun) got to read your email only on Aug-07; and hence he (Arun) was looking for a telephone number to contact you. Apparently the numbers already on record were not being responded to.
I was leaving for India the same day (Aug-07) and could not pursue or follow-up on Arun's info till now. Hope Arun has managed to contact you in the interregnum.
I am taking a chance and hoping that your son or someone in the family is accessing your mail and keeping you informed of communications addressed to you. Do let us know the latest status, and that you are on the road to full recovery.
I have endorsed this mail also to the rest of our classmates.
Wishing you speedy relief from whatever discomfort you may have been in, and full recovery to a healthy state...
With warm regards,
Maxie
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From: Leo Cunha on 10 August 2012:
maxie & arun
 am sorry to hear of lionel.  elfahoist is his business id.  his personal email contact is:  lvamanna@hotmail.com      
 i can't locate his cell phn # .....  
 i have it somewhere coz we called back n forth in kodial/kundapur.  will fwd if i manage to find it. 
hope things are under control with him  ..........         
leo
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From: Raphael Maliakal on 10 August 2012
Talked to Norman Lobo J today. He was supposed to contact Lionel and find out about his recovery from the medical procedures. I hope to hear from NLJ soon. 
I plan to meet them and Peter in Bombay on August 24, 2012. If anybody else is in the area please let us know.
My temporary phone in India is 0 963 370 5344.
Sincerely
Raphael Maliakal
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On 10 August Peter Fernandes wrote: 
Dear all,
Am happy to inform you that on speaking to Lionel moments ago, he has given understand that everything in regard to his 2 operations went on very well.
There was an option to do the 2 operations separately but using the latest technology it was done on the same day. I believe it was through laser technology like passing through a wire and camera involving no usual incisions. 
After 3 days of stay Lionel has been discharged yesterday from the hospital located at Thana. He also told me that tomorrow with his son he will be going to his home at Malad for rest and added that there is nothing to worry in his regard.
He said that he has not opened his Inbox since 10 days but will definitely do so once back home.
As regards Raphael's stay here he has asked his son to do the Hotel booking about which Norman must have briefed Raphael already at the instance of Lionel.
Both of Lionel's email ID's are operative as far as I know and his cell No. is 0-9820332656
With best regards,
Peter
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From: Maxwell Pereira on 11 Aug 2012 To: peter ferns......
Peter,
It's wonderful on your part, to have acted promptly.... to ascertain the facts and send to us all the details. Thank you.
It is a relief to know all is well...
When you talk to Lionel again, do convey to him best ishes from all of us.
Warmly,
Maxie
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From: Peter Fernandes on 11 August 2012
Sure dear Maxie, I will convey best wishes to him from all his classmates once again. In fact, I had already conveyed all of your concerns as regards his health when I had talked to him yesterday.
Lionel said Doctor's advise is for a week's rest for him and he should be up and doing thereafter. He even added that he is planning to meet Raphael at his hotel near the airport in 2 weeks from now.
Warm regards,
Peter
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From: leo cunha on 11 August 2012 to Peter:
thank you peter ......... for this update.  we are relieved to hear of lionel's progress......  hope he continues recuperating to normalcy.
best wishes   ....   leo
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From: Lionel Vasant-kumar Amana on 17 August 2012......
Dear Maxie,
Thanks a lot for supporting me with your prayers & well wishhes for my successful operation which went off very well.
It was found that my appendix had enlarged to almost 10 cm. in length and was about to rupture & the operation was just in nick of time. It was also found to be non malignant.
And now coming to my prostate gland biopsy, thank   GOD out of all the 13 samples they had taken all the samples were found to be non malignant.
So my heartfelt thanks to GOD ALMIGHTY & all of you who have been enquiring about my health and praying for me.
Please pass on this message to all our class mates as my computor knowledge is limitd.
HIP HIP HORRAY
Lionel V.Amanna
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On Sat, Aug 18, 2012 at 10:22 AM, Cyril Veliath wrote:
Dear Peter and all our Friends,
When I read the recent correspondence that has been coming my way from all of you, I felt happy to know that Lionel was better, but at the same time I felt guilty and depressed to learn that I was the only one who has been missing from the circle during these past few years. I can assure you however that I have been faithfully reading all your letters, and I am looking forward to the time when I can join you all. The reason why I have not written is simply because I have nothing much to contribute, but I am deeply interested in reading all the experiences that you all have had, and I enjoy even more the snaps that you send out. All those snaps are carefully lined up in my computer. When I do come over to India however I shall certainly try to see you all.
Take care, and God bless.
Cyril
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On 19 August 2012 21:33, Arun Talwar wrote:
Dear Raphael and my  special friends,
Great To hear about Lionel's  biopsy results, Thank God not once but 17 times(17 biopsies)
All the prayers of the family and friends have been answered.
Thank you Harriet and Sijji for offering to hold the next reunion, we had decided at the last reunion to meet once every two years,Rapharl shall we meet inNovember 2014 try your best if you can make it, if not we will have another one in2015.
Nice to hear from Cyril.
Glad you had mini reunions in Mangalore and Bangalore, Pity that I missed Terence's rendition of Besame mucho! thanks for the lovely photographs.
Lots of love To you all and your better halves
Arun
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Thursday, 16 August 2012

CHANAKYA'S Triple Filter Test - Very thought provoking

From: Trilochan Bailur on 15 August 2012................
 

A Cure for Headaches

From: Trilochan Bailur on 15 August 2012.................
 
Prafulbhai was suffering from a terrible headache, so he went to see doctor, a young, recent medical graduate.  The young doctor listened to him carefully and told him, "Go home. Lie down on your tummy. Open your ass wide. And ask your wife to shove some gin up your ass-hole."
"What???" said Prafulbhai
The doctor repeated patiently, "Go home. Lie down on your tummy. Open your ass wide. And ask your wife to shove some gin up your ass-hole." 
The headache was really killing him, so Prafulbhai went home and, very sceptically, tried out what the doctor told him. And guess what, the headache vanished! 
So Prafulbhai goes running back to the doc, and says "Doctor, doctor, where did you learn this amazing cure?
"
And the doctor replies modestly, "Oh that's nothing. They taught us this on our very first day in medical school"
"Really?" says Prafulbhai, "This is what they taught you in medical school?" 
"Yes, of course. They said for headache you should always prescribe anal gin"

Friday, 10 August 2012

Mangalore meeting August 7, 2012 : Raphael's account

Harry took Terence and me to Visit Denver Fernandez at his home. We met Denver's wife and her mother. Denver had a serious operation to get blood flow into his foot. If the operation could not be done, he could have lost a leg. Harry persuaded him to come for the mini-reunion but did not succeed. 
We went by Poka's house to visit him. His car was not there. So we could not see him.
Harry then took Terence, Tessy and me to his house for a fabulous lunch. Cherry is a great cook and knows how to be a great host. I heard she had given a great party at the second reunion that I missed last year.
Terence did a great job arranging food and liquor to all. He also recruited his wife's cousin Audry Pinto to facilitate the party. Audry was the bar tender, music director and photographer. She did a great job and we gave her the honorary membership to our class.
There was nothing great that happened. It was the first time my wife had a chance to meet my high school class mates. She had met Harry, Terence and Maxi before in the States. But Fr. Walter, Stany, Patrick and Subodh were new.
I missed meeting Trilochan, Poka, Subraya, Melville. I hope to see them at the next meeting ... God Willing.
Stany still remembers the bridge hand in which he went down 2 by bidding five hearts over my four spades. I was his partner three years ago at this bridge hand. I had forgotten all about it but Stany reminded me what happened. Leo and Rex were the opposing pair. 
I noticed Cherry, Shirly and Mary seemed very happy during party. My wife told me she had a great time.
I hope to hear what I missed from the others.
Raphael Maliakal

Friday, 3 August 2012

Arun's visit to Putney

  
 


---------- Forwarded message ----------
To all classmates from: Maxwell Pereira on 2 August 2012

Dear all (...and especially Arun)

Just a little update from London....
(...you are all aware already that I am holidaying with my grandchildren in England for the past month; When I am in England, our classmate in Cardiff here makes it a point to call me eery day and we have a chat. It is wonderful. I believe most of us are aware that Arun's wife Chand had a laprascopic surgical intervention some time ago - and though the operation was a success, her internal healing is not complete. Enough reason to cause worry to her doctors, on whose advise for care and caution, Chand has been housebound with exposure toall sorts of physical or mentalaciviy and interaction totally on hold for the present. Against this background.....)
Arun and I spent the day together yesterday.
Considering dear Chand's post-operative delicate health condition still, he had decided it was better for him to make the trip alone, so we could meet.
He took off by train from Cardiff (...where he lives and runs his clinic) at 6:30am to arrive at London's Victoria Terminus around 10:30 and take the Metro connection to reach Putney (...where I live with my son). I collected him at 11am from Putney East Station.
We walked around then and eventually settled ourselves in a pub - The White Horse  on Putney main street - for a chat and catching up, over a glass of shandy each. We ended up also having our lunch there too - Fisherman's pie and grilled sea-bass with veggies and fries, pretty good!
We remembered each of you in our conversation (..and those gone before us too) spects as remembered from our school days, pranks, games, activities and girlfriends (...if not really girlriends, at least wished for members of the opp sex, eyed with a doorbeen and targetted etc etc) and reminisced on our last reunion meet (...including the 'not enough' holiday on the island resort off Kundapur - and the talkative Muthu's food!) etc etc etc...
Finally we walked down to my son Tony's house couple of blocks away on Enmore Road for a short while and had tea, before I walked him back to the tube station for his return journey. He was taking the coach back to Cardiff from Victoria, he had indicated.
Enlosed here are a couple of pictures of yesterday from my camera!
It was very kind and gracious of you Arun, to have taken a day off inconveniencing yourself from your daily routine, leaving Chand alone, rescheduling your patients, etc... just to see me, and make the trip all the way to Putney, London! Thank you so much.
(BTW...... India's performance till now at the Olympics has been pathetic. I had hoped we would better our tally of three (including one gold) won at the last 2008-Beijing Olympics. But so far we have only one bronze in the bag. Sad.)
With best wishes and warm regards to all...
Maxie
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Thursday, 2 August 2012

Dear all...
 
It is a year since our dear friend and classmate Victor Currie passed away and moved to the nether world!
I reproduce below, a post on facebook by Victor's son Vishal....
 
As I reminisce my dear Dad, it has been a year that he attained his heavenly abode. We all certainly miss him, his fun, his mischievous spirit and good humor. Dad was an honest man that walked this earth, lived humbly and well. He inspired everybody as an Athlete, the King of Rock n Roll, an Engineer, an Administrator, a Husband & Father, a Friend and a devout pious man.
My Mentor and my Hero. I am who I am, because of you. I miss you and will love you for eternity.
May the angles in heaven continue to sing your glory! Hallelujah!!
 
While beseaching the Lord to grant Victor eternal rest, our thoughts and prayers are with Rosemary his wife and Vishal...
 
Maxie
 
 
 
 

The Course that's been changing lives in Mumbai (Bombay)

From: peter ferns: Date: 2 August 2012
 
 
The course that's been changing lives in Mumbai
Every evening, when St Xavier's College turns on its yellow lights, a thousand canteen boys, sweepers, hawkers, labourers, milk vendors, clerks and receptionists wrap up a tough day's work and rush in for their lectures. Once in, they are in a world where all they are expected to do is hold a pen and pay attention.
Few in the city know about the evening course at the college. Started 24 years ago, the commerce section is perhaps a little out of sync with the loud Malhar and the campus fashion a sharp contrast to what one sees in top colleges. Also, most students don't return to a home or comforting security each day. Principal Errol Fernandes said, "The morning section was started to provide excellent education. The criterion to admit students is merit. The evening classes were started to cater to the distressed section of society and give them hope of a better life."
The classes begin with a short prayer of silence. "Students are asked to take a deep breath so they can get rid of the grime and tiredness of the day," Fernandes explained.
As
the section enters its silver jubilee year, it has turned autonomous. Unlike other colleges, the attendance here is high, probably because the reason to study is different. There are no free lectures, and very often extra classes for weaker students are held on the train, during the faculty's journey back home.
For long, excellent
education has mostly been the privilege of the moneyed and the meritorious. The commerce section at St Xavier's was started with the aim of breaking away from that norm. "These students are the ones who really need the help," said economics professor Kamaji Bokare. "The rate of change of life you see here is really high."
Akshay Shetty, who used to run a roadside stall outside Old Custom's House, is today a senior executive at a mutual fund firm. "I went on to do my master's and am also a cost accountant. The biggest change has been the respect I get today," says a proud Shetty. Till about five years ago, Prabhakar Poojary was a canteen boy in BEST earning Rs 600 a month. Today, he heads the Singapore, Dubai and Mauritius markets of a private fund and takes home an enviable pay packet of Rs 30 lakh. "When tough life becomes a routine,
the rest becomes easy," he says.
Teachers take pride in the fact that two ex-students have made the Indian Institute of Management-Ahmedabad—one is the vice-president of a private bank—but most importantly, they speak of the values the course has instilled in their students. Ravi Gaba was always a bright student; he bagged several cash awards in his years at St Xavier's. "When he graduated, he gave us all the cash prizes (totaling Rs 18,000) that he had won and said he wanted to leave it back for another needy student," recalled accounts professor Rajesh Vora.
Going to college means different things to different people. For some, collegiate education rebuilds their lives, for some others it is the bridge to a better path. For many others, it's a plunge out of a dark night...to a day that shines as bright as the lights on the campus they walk to each evening.

Keep Well, Keep smiling............................

"Helping people secure tomorrow TODAY"