"If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor, you can tell them that poetry is verse."
---------------
"Tomorrow is National Orgasm Day. Are you coming?"
---------------------
A man asked the little boy, "Do you want a cocker spaniel?"
The little boy thought for a moment and said, "I think I'll take the spaniel."
==========
A woman is feeling poorly and sends a telegram to her husband on a business trip to come home as soon as possible, "NOT GETTING ANY BETTER. COME HOME."
Imagine the husband's surprise when he received, "NOT GETTING ANY. BETTER COME HOME."
==========
For a woman to write with appeal, Punctuation's what's needed, I feel. When she talks, she will say, "Miss a comma, okay. Miss a period? That's a big deal!"
======
Abstinence is a good thing, but it should be practiced in moderation.
=====
What do you call someone who flies his car? An autopilot
--------
Why did the bees go on strike? They wanted shorter flowers and more honey.
--------------
My friend and I are going to drive across the southern states of America, just to see how long it Texas.
-----------
Why can't a girl ask for help from her brother? He can't be a brother and assist her, too.
--------------
She was the Violinists daughter,and when she took off her G-string and all the boys fiddled.
---------------
Sign in a vegetarian restaurant: "All we are saying is give peas a chance."
--------------
Poetry: That money talks I'll not deny. I heard it once, it said goodbye.
--------------
My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
.------------
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. "Morning." I said. "No" he replied, "just having a sh*t." (This is a repeat)
.-----------
On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?'
--------------
Need an ark to save two of every animal?...... I noah guy.
--------------
The most expensive painting ever sold is Picasso's $106.5 million "Nude, Green Leaves and Bust," now on display in London.
Actually, the only thing more expensive than "Nude, Green Leaves and Bust" is Tiger Woods' "Nude Mistresses, Greens Fees and a Busted Marriage."
----------------
I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
---------------
All men are not homeless, but some are home less than others.
--------------
---------------
"Tomorrow is National Orgasm Day. Are you coming?"
---------------------
A man asked the little boy, "Do you want a cocker spaniel?"
The little boy thought for a moment and said, "I think I'll take the spaniel."
==========
A woman is feeling poorly and sends a telegram to her husband on a business trip to come home as soon as possible, "NOT GETTING ANY BETTER. COME HOME."
Imagine the husband's surprise when he received, "NOT GETTING ANY. BETTER COME HOME."
==========
For a woman to write with appeal, Punctuation's what's needed, I feel. When she talks, she will say, "Miss a comma, okay. Miss a period? That's a big deal!"
======
Abstinence is a good thing, but it should be practiced in moderation.
=====
What do you call someone who flies his car? An autopilot
--------
Why did the bees go on strike? They wanted shorter flowers and more honey.
--------------
My friend and I are going to drive across the southern states of America, just to see how long it Texas.
-----------
Why can't a girl ask for help from her brother? He can't be a brother and assist her, too.
--------------
She was the Violinists daughter,and when she took off her G-string and all the boys fiddled.
---------------
Sign in a vegetarian restaurant: "All we are saying is give peas a chance."
--------------
Poetry: That money talks I'll not deny. I heard it once, it said goodbye.
--------------
My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
.------------
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. "Morning." I said. "No" he replied, "just having a sh*t." (This is a repeat)
.-----------
On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?'
--------------
Need an ark to save two of every animal?...... I noah guy.
--------------
The most expensive painting ever sold is Picasso's $106.5 million "Nude, Green Leaves and Bust," now on display in London.
Actually, the only thing more expensive than "Nude, Green Leaves and Bust" is Tiger Woods' "Nude Mistresses, Greens Fees and a Busted Marriage."
----------------
I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
---------------
All men are not homeless, but some are home less than others.
--------------
No comments:
Post a Comment