Saturday, 24 September 2011

THE LAWS THAT NEWTON FORGOT TO TELL US ABOUT

THE LAWS THAT NEWTON FORGOT TO TELL US ABOUT

THE LAW OF BREAD

When the buttered slice of bread falls it always lands on the buttered side.

THE LAW OF THE QUEUE

 If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you're in now.

THE LAW OF TELEPHONE

When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

THE LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

THE LAW OF THE WORKSHOP

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

THE LAW OF THE ALIBI

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.

THE BATH THEOREM

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

THE LAW OF ENCOUNTERS

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

THE LAW OF THE RESULT

 When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

THE LAW OF BIOMECHANICS

 The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THE THEATRE RULE

 People with the seats furthest from the aisle arrive last.

THE LAW OF COFFEE

As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold

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