A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car sales room.
--
Maxwell Pereira IPS (Retd.)
3725 Sector-23, Gurgaon-122017
A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car sales room.
Only an Aussie could pull this one off ! A true story from Mount Isa
in Queensland ..
Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local
neighborhood pub late in the evening. The officer noticed a man (Luke
Sandery) leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the
officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying
his keys on five vehicles. The man managed to find his car, which he
fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons
left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the
wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night). Then flicked the
indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the
lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then
remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.
At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down
the road. The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time,
now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, pulled the
man over and carried out a breathalyser test.
To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's
intoxication.
The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy"..
The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists; a
university graduate and an old aboriginal. They were given a word,
then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem
that contained the word. The word they were given was 'TIMBUKTU'
First to recite his poem was the university graduate. He stepped to
the microphone and said:
"Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels two by two
Destination - Timbuktu."
The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that, they thought.
The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
"Me and Tim a huntin' went,
Met three whores in a pop up tent,
They were three, and we was two
So I bucked one, and tim buktu."
The aboriginal won.
Cinnamon and Honey - Whoever thought?
Honey is the only food on the planet that will not spoil or rot. What it will do is what some call 'turning to sugar'. In reality, honey is always honey. However, when left in a cool dark place for a long time it will "crystallize". When this happens loosen the lid, boil some water and sit the honey container in the hot water, but turn off the heat and let it liquefy naturally. It is then as good as it ever was. Never boil honey or put it in a microwave. This will kill the enzymes in the honey.
Cinnamon and Honey
Bet the drug companies won't like this one getting around. Facts on Honey and Cinnamon: It is found that a mixture of honey and Cinnamon cures most diseases. Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Scientists of today also accept honey as a 'Ram Ban' (very effective) medicine for all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without side effects for any kind of diseases.
Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, when it is taken in the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm even diabetic patients. Weekly World News, a magazine in Canada, in its issue dated 17 January,1995 has given the following list of diseases that can be cured by ho ney and cinnamon, as researched by western scientists:
HEART DISEASES:
Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply it on bread instead of jelly and jam and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack. Also, those who have already had an attack, when they do this process daily, they are kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heart beat. In America and Canada , various nursing homes have treated patients successfully and have found that as one ages the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon revitalize the arteries and the veins.< span class="Apple-converted-space">
ARTHRITIS:
Arthritis patients may take daily (morning and night) one cup of hot water with two tablespoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. When taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a recent research conducted at the Copenhagen University, it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week (out of the 200 people so treated) practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain -- and within a month, most all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis now started walking without pain.
BLADDER INFECTIONS:
Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder.
CHOLESTEROL:
Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water given to a cholesterol patient was found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within two hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, when taken three times a day, any chronic cholesterol is cured. According to information received in the said Journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.
COLDS:
Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and, clear the sinuses.
UPSET STOMACH:
Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears stomach ulcers from its root.
GAS:
According to the studies done in India and Japan , it is revealed that when Honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.
IMMUNE SYSTEM:
Daily use of honey and cinn amon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacterial and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of Honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles (where DNA is contained) to fight bacterial and viral diseases.
INDIGESTION:
Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food is eaten relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.
INFLUENZA:
A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural 'Ingredient' which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu.
LONGEVITY:
Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly, arrests the ravages of old age. Use four teaspoons of honey, one teaspoon of cinnamon powder, and three cups of water and boil to make a tea. Drink 1/4 cup, three to four times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans increase and even a 100 year old will start performing the chores of a 20-year-old..
RASPY OR SORE THROAT:
When throat has a tickle or is raspy, take one tablespoon of honey and sip until gone. Repeat every three hours until throat is without symptoms.
PIMPLES:
Three tablespoons of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste. Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it off the next morning with warm water. When done daily for two weeks, it removes all pimples from the ro ot.
SKIN INFECTIONS:
Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin infections.
WEIGHT LOSS:
Daily in the morning one half hour before breakfast and on an empty stomach, and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one cup of water. When taken regularly, it reduces the weight of even the mo st obese person. Also, drinking this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in the body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.
CANCER:
Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder three times a day for one month .
FATIGUE:
Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body. Senior citizens who take honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts are more alert and flexible. Dr. Milton, who has done research, says that a half tablespoon of honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, even when the vitality of the body starts to decrease, when taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3:00 P.M., the vitality of the body increases within a week.
BAD BREATH:
People of South America, gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water first thing in the morning so their breath stays fresh throughout the day.
HEARING LOSS:
Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder, taken in equal parts restores hearing. Remember when we were kids? We had toast with real butter and cinnamon sprinkled on it!
You might want to share this information with a friend, kinfolks and loved ones. Everyone needs healthy help information ~ what they do with it is up to them ~ share with your email buddies... They deserve to be healthy too!!!
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Driving is a complex, fast-paced activity. A typical driver makes 25 decisions per kilometer. Aging affects all 3 steps in the driving process: sensing, deciding and acting. 1. Sensing: Good eyesight is essential fr safe driving. You receive 85-90% of the information needed to drive through your eyes. One of the most common changes you will notice is with your vision. Here are some facts about aging and the eyes:
Hearing 2. Deciding: Once your eyes and ears take in information, it's up to your brain to process it and decide what to do. Age increases the time it takes the brain to process information and makes it harder to ignore distractions. For many people, experience and good driving habits can compensate for these changes. |
Three Sardarjis went for a tour to Singapore.
They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which was in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel.
After taking rest they started for a local visit.
While leaving the hotel, the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before10.00pm or else lift would not be available
and they have to climb the steps for which they agreed and went out.
After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30pm.
Since lift was not available, they decided to take the stairways under the condition that each sardarji had to tell a story that lasted for 33 floors so that they could reach the 100th floor without much trouble.
After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said,
"I have a sad story to say, but I will tell at the end only".
Then second sardarji finished his story and the third also finished his and finally they reached the 100th floor.
Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story.
The third one said,
"I forgot the room key which was on the manager's table".
They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from the top said,
" I got a sad story, but I would also say that at the end".
They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said,
" The keys were in my pocket only".
With anger and being full tired, they once again started from the first floor.
After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said,
" I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only".
Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied:
"This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of the road, opposite to this...!!!"
NEWLYWEDS
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well", said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh mama", she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful!
So romantic"... Suddenly she burst out crying.
"But, mama, as soon as we returned,
Sam started using the most horrible language -- things
I'd never heard before!
I mean, all these awful four-letter words!
You've got to take me home!!
PLEASE MAMA !"
"Sarah, Sarah", her mother said, "calm down!
You need to stay with your husband and work this out.
Now, tell me, what could be so awful?
WHAT four-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter.
"I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful!
COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.
Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words!"
Sobbing, the bride said,
"Oh, Mama..., he used words like:
"DUST, WASH , IRON, and COOK
"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said her mother.
The crazy(!) bunch of youngsters that passed out of St Aloysius College High School, Mangalore - class of 1960 - then notorious for being best in everything: best in studies, best in sports and games, best in extra-curricular activities including elocution, debate and singing; and notoriously best in good conduct and in bad conduct – they met in Jun-2010 to celebrate Fifty Years after - on the golden anniversary of the year of their passing out. They relive their crazy days!