Harold

HAROLD MAY BECOME MY NEW FAVORITE!!!!



A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Harold stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Harold?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'


Harold watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Harold 'Giving up?'


The math teacher saw that Harold wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Harold! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Harold quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'


Harold's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Harold asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "


Little Harold attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Harold asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Harold, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'

A Joke from heaven...!

From: peter ferns on 16 October 2012..............
A Joke from Heaven

God decided to encourage people to have fewer children and introduced an award scheme¦ During the procedure at one point, he concentrated on learning about the situation in India :
He first met Jawaharlal Nehru in heaven, and asked him how many children he had during his time on earth. Nehru replied¦ only one!
Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God awarded Nehru with a Celestial Rolls Royce!
Indira Gandhi was next, and God asked the same question. She replied she had two children, and God thought, not too bad, so he gave her a BMW.
Dr. Radhakrishnan was next in line. God was not pleased to hear that he had six children, and gave him a Morris-8 as a kind of punishment¦
Sometime later, the three (Nehru, Indira and Radhakrishnan) were going around in their new cars, saw Mahatma Gandhi on foot!!!
Wondering what went wrong; they asked him why God hadn't been merciful with him¦
The Mahatma replied in disgust, "God did not even ask me!!! Some idiots had told him that I am the father of the whole Indian nation!"

Humour

One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class...
Teacher : What kind of wife would you like Johnny?
Johnny : I would want a wife like the moon...
Teacher : Wow !! what a choice...do you want her to be beautiful and
calm like the moon?
Johnny : No, I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning..

Words to live by

From: peter ferns on 10 October 2012

 

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born.  A Death Certificate shows that we died.  Pictures show that we live!  Have a seat.  Relax . . .view these beautiful pictures of God's bounty and read this slowly: I Believe...  That just because two people argue,  It doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, It doesn't mean they do love each other. I Believe... That we don't have to change friends if We understand that friends change. I Believe.... That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you, every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I Believe..... That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I Believe... That you can do something in an instant That will give you heartache for life. I Believe.... That it's taking me a long time To become the person I want to be. I Believe... That you should always leave loved ones with Loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I Believe.... That you can keep going long after you think you can't. I Believe.... That we are responsible for what We do, no matter how we feel. I Believe... That either you control your attitude or it controls you. I Believe.... That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done,  regardless of the consequences. I Believe.... That my best friend and I  can do anything or nothing and have the best time.. I Believe.... That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up. I Believe... That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I Believe... That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I Believe..... That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.  Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. I Believe... That no matter how bad your heart is broken,  the world doesn't stop for your grief. I Believe.... That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become. I Believe... That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. I Believe.... Two people can look at the exact same Thing and see something totally different. I Believe... That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. I Believe... That even when you think you have no more to give, When a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I Believe... That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I Believe... That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. I Believe... That you should send this to all of the people that you believe in.  I just did. 'The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; They just make the most of everything they have

Count Your Blessings

A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a R200 note.In the room of 200 he asked, "Who would like this Rs.200 note?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this Rs.200 to one of you, but first, let me do this. "
He proceeded to crumple up the Rs.200 note. He then asked, "Who still wants it...?" Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" & he dropped it on the ground & started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled & dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money,you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rs.200. Many times in our lives, we are dropped(n) , crumpled:(& ground into the dirt:s by the decisions we make & the circumstances that come our way.:O We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.
Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it. " If you do not pass this on, you may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it may bring.
Count your blessings, not your problems.

Helpful Household Remedy

Egg Whites and their effect on BURNS
A young man sprinkling his lawn and bushes with pesticides wanted to check the contents of the barrel to see how much pesticide remained in it. He raised the cover and lit his lighter; the vapours inflamed and engulfed him. He jumped from his truck, screaming. His neighbour came out of her house with a dozen eggs, yelling: "bring me some eggs!" She broke them, separating the whites from the yolks. The neighbour woman helped her to apply the whites on the young man's face. When the ambulance arrived and when the EMTs saw the young man, they asked who had done this. Everyone pointed to the lady in charge. They congratulated her and said: "You have saved his face." By the end of the summer, the young man brought the lady a bouquet of roses to thank her. His face was like a baby's skin.
Healing Miracle for burns:
Keep in mind this treatment of burns which is included in teaching beginner fireman this method. First aid consists to spraying cold
water on the affected area until the heat is reduced and stops burning the layers of skin. Then, spread egg whites on the affected are.
One woman burned a large part of her hand with boiling water. In spite of the pain she ran cold faucet water on her hand, separated 2 egg white from the yolks, beat them slightly and then dipped her hand in the solution. The whites then dried and formed a protective layer.
She later learned that the egg white is a natural collagen and continued during at least one hour to apply layer upon layer of beaten egg white. By afternoon she no longer felt any pain and the next day there was hardly a trace of the burn. 10 days later, no trace was left at all and her skin had regained its normal colour. The burned area was totally regenerated thanks to the collagen in the egg whites, a placenta full of vitamins.
This information could be helpful to everyone

Benefits of Walking

...from Peter Ferns/ Mumbai

The human body is made to walk.
Our bodies function better when we walk. We are healthier in many ways when we walk.
Walking 30 minutes a day cuts the rate of people becoming diabetic by more than half and it cuts the risk of people over 60 becoming diabetic by almost 70 percent.
Walking cuts the risk of stroke by more than 25 percent.
Walking reduces hypertension. The body has over 100,000 miles of blood vessels. Those blood vessels are more supple and healthier when we walk.
Walking cuts the risk of cancer as well as diabetes and stroke.
Women who walk have a 20 percent lower likelihood of getting breast cancer and a 31 percent lower risk of getting colon cancer.
Women with breast cancer who walk regularly can reduce their recurrence rate and their mortality rate by over 50 percent.
The human body works better when we walk. The body resists diseases better when we walk, and the body heals faster when we walk.
We don't have to walk a lot. Thirty minutes a day has a huge impact on our health.
Men who walk thirty minutes a day have a significantly lower level of prostate cancer. Men who walk regularly have a 60 percent lower risk of colon cancer.
For men with prostate cancer, studies have shown that walkers have a 46 percent lower mortality rate.
Walking also helps prevent depression, and people who walk regularly are more likely to see improvements in their depression. In one study, people who walked and took medication scored twice as well in 30 days as the women who only took the medication. Another study showed that depressed people who walked regularly had a significantly higher level of not being depressed in a year compared to depressed people who did not walk. The body generates endorphins when we walk. Endorphins help us feel good.
Walking strengthens the heart. Walking strengthens bones. Walking improves the circulatory system.
Walking generates positive neurochemicals. Healthy eating is important but dieting can trigger negative neurochemicals and can be hard to do. Walking generates positive neurochemicals. People look forward to walking and enjoy walking.
And research shows that fit beats fat for many people. Walking half an hour a day has health benefits that exceed the benefits of losing 20 pounds.
When we walk every day, our bodies are healthier and stronger. A single 30 minute walk can reduce blood pressure by five points for
over 20 hours.
Walking reduces the risk of blood clots in your legs.
People who walk regularly have much lower risk of deep vein thrombosis.
People who walk are less likely to catch colds, and when people get colds, walkers have a 46 percent shorter symptom time from their
colds.
Walking improves the health of our blood, as well. Walking is a good boost of high density cholesterol and people with high levels of HDL are less likely to have heart attacks and stroke.
Walking speeds up metabolism and burns calories. Walkers often find that eating habits change and weight loss results from those eating changes.
Walking significantly diminishes the risk of hip fracture and the need for gallstone surgery is 20 to 31 percent lower for walkers.
Walking is the right thing to do.
The body needs to walk.
We don't need to walk a lot 30 minutes a day makes the body work better.
The best news is that the 30 minutes doesn't have to be done in one lump of time. Two 15 minute walks achieve the same goals. Three 10 minute walks achieve most of those goals.
We can walk 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night and achieve our walking goals.
Walking feels good. It helps the body heal. It keeps the body healthy.
It improves our biological health, our physical health, our psychosocial health, and helps with our emotional health. Walking can
literally add years entire years to your life.
Its good to walk. Be good to yourself. Be good to your body.
If you can where you can walk. Everybody Walk. Be well.
ALL ACUPRESSURE POINTS R IN THE SOLE OF UR FEET ...... JUST LIKE UR HANDS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep Walking.

SLEEP:

If we have perfect sleep, it shows up on our face the next morning .
Here are some tips for a sound sleep...
- Go to bed at the same time every day and set a regular time to get
out of bed. If you maintain this habit then you can wake up naturally
without the help of an alarm clock .
-Adjust your bedtime accordingly. A comfortable bedroom means a cozy
night's sleep. Keep the room cool, make sure your bed is roomy with
nice clean sheets and keep the noise to a minimum. Add a few drops of
Aroma Magic's Neroli Essential Oil to your pillow. The lovely
fragrance of Neroli will help you forget worries and enter the world
of dreams.
-Stay away from big meals in the evening. Alcohol in the evening will
reduce your sleep quality, it will probably wake you up in the middle
of the night.

Inspirationals....

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. - Oscar Wilde

 

 

 

 

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