complete vs finished !!!

No English dictionary has been able to explain  the difference between the two words - 'complete' and 'finished'  in a way that's so easy to understand: Some people say there is no difference  between  'complete 'and 'finished '  but there is: When you marry the right one, you are  COMPLETE.... And when you marry the wrong one, you are  FINISHED..... And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED !!!

Thoughts for the day with a bit of humour-- some new but all worth the laugh!!

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.  

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.  

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.  

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.  

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement  .

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.  

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.  

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt  .  
Ageing: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. 


When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
 
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. 

One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it is such a nice change from being young. 

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
 
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down. 

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf

Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth... AMEN..!!

3 Wives in a Compound....

Imagine......

Living with 3 Wives in one compound,

and never leaving the House

for  5 years -                 !!!!!

I think

Osama called the US Navy Seals himself....

The Pastor's Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won..

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey, that he entered it in the Race
again, and it won again...

The local paper read:
*PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT*

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered
the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read:
*BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. *
**
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid
of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline
the next day:
**NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. *

The bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so
she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:
* NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. *

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back
the Donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run Wild..

The next day the headlines read:
**NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE**

The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . .. *Being concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery .. . Even shorten your life. *

So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
You'll be a lot happier....and Live longer!

Precise Mathematics ADDS UP!

Mathematics:
This comes from 2 math teachers
with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.
It has an indisputable mathematical logic.
It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint..it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
By the way DISHONEST = 113!
Now you know why some people are where they are!

Cost of Savings from Sex!

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate down sizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totalling nearly$1 million.
Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million.
She explained that she had 'charged' him for sex, and these were the results of her savings and investments.
The husband was so astounded he could barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have had sex only with you.'
That's when she shot him......

Racism...***!!!

From: Trilochan Bailur on 27 April 2011

Racism...***!!! ..... More Deep Rooted Than What We Believed !!

Well done Oprah and British Airways .
TWO TRUE STORIES ABOUT RACISM

1) I'm sure many of you watched the recent episode of the Oprah
Winfrey Show. Her guest was Tommy Hilfiger. On the show, she asked him
if the statements about race he was accused of saying were true.
Statements like'... 'If I'd known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish
and Asians would buy my clothes, I WOULD NOT have made them so nice. I
wish these people would *NOT* buy my clothes, as they are made for
upper class white people '
His answer to Oprah was a simple ' YES' .
Whereafter she immediately asked him to leave her show

My suggestion? Don't buy your next shirt or perfume from Tommy Hilfiger.
Let's give him what he asked for. Let's not buy his clothes, let's put
him in a financial state where he himself will not be able to afford
the ridiculous prices he puts on his clothes. BOYCOTT. AND PLEASE
SHARE THIS MESSAGE WITH EVERYONE YOU KNOW..
Then send it to the whole community that's not white people and see
the result. We have to see the result of unity.
Let's find out if Non-whites really play such a small part in the
world. Stop buying any range of their (Tommy H etc) product, perfume,
cosmetics, clothes, bags, etc.

2) Scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg and London.
A White woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.
Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air hostess.
'Madam, what is the matter,' the hostess asked.'
You obviously do not see it then?' she responded.'
'You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to
someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat.'
'Be calm please,' the hostess replied.
'Almost all the places on this Flight is taken. I will go to see if
another place is available.'
The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later.
'Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the
economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is
a seat in the business class.
All the same, we still have one place in the first class.'
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued: 'It is not
usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit
in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain
feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone
so disgusting.'
She turned to the black guy, and said, 'Therefore, Sir, if you would
like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first
class.'
At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had
just witnessed stood up and applauded.
Both the above are true stories. If you are against racism, please
send this message to all your friends; 'Please do not Delete it
without sending it to at least one person'

THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER ...

From: Trilochan Bailur on 26 April 2011

GOOD ONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

LORD,... THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER ...

Joyce got married and had 13 children.  Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer.
She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children.  Bob was
killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Joyce again remarried, and this time, she and John had 5 more children.
Joyce finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.  He thanked
the Lord for this very loving woman and said,
"Lord, they are finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret,
"Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?"
Margaret replied, "I think he means her legs, Ethel . . . her legs"

How we got the numbers - fascinating

From: Raphael Maliakal on 26 April 2011

 

This is truly fascinating...have a look at the simplicity of the shaping of numbers.
Read this first, then click onto the attachment!
How numerals 0 - 9 got their shape - Interesting !
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Do you know why numbers look like they do? Someone, at some point in time, had to create their shapes and meaning.
Watch this short presentation and then you will know how our Arabic numbers were originally created a very long time ago and what logic the people that created them used to determine their shapes. It is really very simple and quite creative?
You have to admire the intelligence of a person or people that created something so simple and perfect that it has lasted for thousands and thousands of years and will probably never change?
When the presentation gets to the number "seven" you will notice that the 7 has a line through the middle of it. That was the way the Arabic 7 was originally written, and in Europe and certain other areas they still write the 7 that way.  Also, in the military, they commonly write it that way. The nine has a kind of curly tail on it that has been reduced,
for the most part nowadays, to a simple curve, but the logic involved still applies.
Click on the attachment and be amazed

Six Truths of life

Six Truths in Life

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility due to the tendons within your neck .

2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.
3. And discover #1 is a lie.
4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
6. There is still a stupid smile on your face .
I sincerely apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company. You now have 2 options...delete it, or send it along to put a smile on someone's face today.

Think about it.

From: Raphael Maliakal on 25 April 2011

 

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

Raphael Maliakal

Pun Fun

"If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor, you can tell them that poetry is verse."
---------------
"Tomorrow is National Orgasm Day.  Are you coming?"
---------------------
A man asked the little boy, "Do you want a cocker spaniel?"
The little boy thought for a moment and said, "I think I'll take the spaniel."
==========
A woman is feeling poorly and sends a telegram to her husband on a business trip to come home as soon as possible, "NOT GETTING ANY BETTER.  COME HOME."
Imagine the husband's surprise when he received, "NOT GETTING ANY.  BETTER COME HOME."
==========
For a woman to write with appeal, Punctuation's what's needed, I feel. When she talks, she will say, "Miss a comma, okay. Miss a period? That's a big deal!"
======
Abstinence is a good thing, but it should be practiced in moderation.
=====
What do you call someone who flies his car? An autopilot
--------
Why did the bees go on strike? They wanted shorter flowers and more honey.
--------------
My friend and I are going to drive across the southern states of America, just to see how long it Texas.
-----------
Why can't a girl ask for help from her brother? He can't be a brother and assist her, too.
--------------
She was the Violinists daughter,and when she took off her G-string and all the boys fiddled.
---------------
Sign in a vegetarian restaurant: "All we are saying is give peas a chance."
--------------
Poetry: That money talks I'll not deny. I heard it once, it said goodbye.
--------------
My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
.------------
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. "Morning." I said. "No" he replied, "just having a sh*t." (This is a repeat)
.-----------
On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?'
--------------
Need an ark to save two of every animal?...... I noah guy.
--------------
The most expensive painting ever sold is Picasso's $106.5 million "Nude, Green Leaves and Bust," now on display in London.
Actually, the only thing more expensive than "Nude, Green Leaves and Bust" is Tiger Woods' "Nude Mistresses, Greens Fees and a Busted Marriage."
----------------
I wish the buck stopped here.  I could use a few.
---------------
All men are not homeless, but some are home less than others.
--------------

JAN LOKPAL BILL

Joseph Rego on 11 April 2011 has sent us this one, trying to throw some light on the JAN LOKPAL BILL.....

Anna Hazare fasts unto death

He is demanding enactment of a strong anti-corruption law - Jan Lokpal Bill - to ensure swiftness and certainty of punishment to the corrupt.
Will his fast have any impact on the deaf Government of India?

Yes, it certainly would. Because, last time when Anna sat on fast –

• 6 corrupt ministers in Maharashtra had to resign
• 400 corrupt officers were dismissed from job
• 2002 - Maharashtra RTI Act was passed
• 2006 - Central Government withdrew its proposal to amend Central RTI Act
Salient features of Jan Lokpal Bill

Drafted by Justice Santosh Hegde, Prashant Bhushan and Arvind Kejriwal, this Bill has been refined on the basis of feedback received from public on website and after series of public consultations. It has also been vetted by and is supported by Shanti Bhushan, J M Lyngdoh, Kiran Bedi, Anna Hazare etc. It was sent to the PM and all CMs on 1st December.

1. An institution called LOKPAL at the centre and LOKAYUKTA in each state will be set up

2. Like Supreme Court and Election Commission, they will be completely independent of the governments. No minister or bureaucrat will be able to influence their investigations.

3. Cases against corrupt people will not linger on for years anymore: Investigations in any case will have to be completed in one year. Trial should be completed in next one year so that the corrupt politician, officer or judge is sent to jail within two years.

4. The loss that a corrupt person caused to the government will be recovered at the time of conviction.

5. How will it help a common citizen: If any work of any citizen is not done in prescribed time in any government office, Lokpal will impose financial penalty on guilty officers, which will be given as compensation to the complainant.

6. So, you could approach Lokpal if your ration card or passport or voter card is not being made or if police is not registering your case or any other work is not being done in prescribed time. Lokpal will have to get it done in a month's time. You could also report any case of corruption to Lokpal like ration being siphoned off, poor quality roads been constructed or panchayat funds being siphoned off. Lokpal will have to complete its investigations in a year, trial will be over in next one year and the guilty will go to jail within two years.

7. But won't the government appoint corrupt and weak people as Lokpal members? That won't be possible because its members will be selected by judges, citizens and constitutional authorities and not by politicians, through a completely transparent and participatory process.

8. What if some officer in Lokpal becomes corrupt? The entire functioning of Lokpal/ Lokayukta will be completely transparent. Any complaint against any officer of Lokpal shall be investigated and the officer dismissed within two months.

9. What will happen to existing anti-corruption agencies? CVC, departmental vigilance and anti-corruption branch of CBI will be merged into Lokpal. Lokpal will have complete powers and machinery to independently investigate and prosecute any officer, judge or politician.

 

Indian-Pakistani Dog Fight....!!!!

India and Pakistan recently realized that, if they continued political tension, they would some day end up destroying each other. So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dog fight.

The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its country the right to rule Kashmir. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.

The Pakistanis found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves.

They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed the lone dog all of the milk. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine, until, after the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison bars on his cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast.

When the day of the big fight arrived, the Indians showed up with a strange animal: It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund.

Everyone felt sorry for the Indians. No one else thought this weird animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Paki camp.

The bookies predicted that Pakistan would win in less than a minute.

The cages were opened. The dachshund waddled toward the centre of the ring. The Pakistani dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Indian dog, the dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Pakistani beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the Paki killer dog's tail.

The Pakis approached the Indians, shaking their heads in disbelief. "We do not understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine."

"Really?" the Indians replied. "We had our top plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a dachshund."

An educated dog! ...is all you need to become a successful politician

.....things come to me floating over the internet! This one's on the qualification to become a politician!!!!

 

A young cowboy from Texas goes off to college. Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home.
"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Austin that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000," the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course."
So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.  About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
"So how's Ol' Blue doing son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"
"Read!" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read.
So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"
The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying mutt before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
The kid went on to law school, and now serves in Washington, D.C. as a Congressman.

A Pastor's Business Card

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners.. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10..' Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.' Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.' Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are! 'A cheerful heart is good medicine' (Prov. 17:22)

Men will never learn

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident. It's a bad one. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; "So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God! The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police." Bliksem! Adam ate the apple, too! Men will never learn!

Do not judge people by mere looks.....or academic background

Hey... all you batchmates of SAC-1960,

Today is 'Holi" the festival of colours - celebrated all over India (more expressively in North-India) with wild gusto, colours, song and dance!

So wish you wherever you are, a very happy Holi with your friends and family! Celebrate and enjoy... !

 

'Midst your celebrations, 'am sending something thought-provoking, to set your minds to ponder over...

 

A truck driver was doing his usual load delivery at a mental hospital. For convenience he had parked his vehicle beside an open drain.

When he had finished and was about to return from the mental hospital, he discovered he had a flat tyre. He jacked up the truck and removed the flat tyre to fix the spare tyre.

When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the 4 bolts in the open drain. Naturally, he despaired.

Just then, one of the patients happened to walk past him and asked the driver as to why he was looking troubled.

The driver thought to himself, "...there is nothing much he can do, or this mental joker can". Just to keep the bugging away, the truck driver informed the whole episode to the mental patient and gave a helpless frustrated look.

The patient just laughed at the truck driver and said " you just cannot even fix such a simple problem? No wonder you are destined to remain a truck driver for life".

The truck driver was astonished to hear such a left-handed compliment from a mental guy - who continued "Here is what you can do" said the mental guy

"Take one bolt from each of the remaining 3 tyres/wheels and fix it on to this tyre . Then drive down to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones. Is'nt it simple my friend ?"
The truck driver was so impressed with this quick-fix answer and asked the patient "How come you are so smart and intelligent and you are here at the mental hospital?"

The patient replied..."Hello friend! I stay here because I am crazy but I am not stupid".

No wonder, there are some people, who behave like the Truck Driver, thinking that others are just stupid. So, guys, though you all are learned and wise, but, just watch out, there could be some CRAZY guys in our professional / personal lives, who could give us lots of quick fixes and brush our wisdom.

The moral of the story is - just do not conclude that you know everything and do not judge people by mere looks/attire, stature or academic background.

Dumb Blond... !?

A YOUNG VENTRILOQUIST IS TOURING THE CLUBS AND ONE NIGHT HE'S DOING A SHOW IN A SMALL TEXAS TOWN .
WITH HIS DUMMY ON HIS KNEE, HE  STARTS GOING THROUGH HIS USUAL DUMB BLONDE JOKES.
SUDDENLY, A BLONDE WOMAN IN THE 4TH ROW STANDS ON HER CHAIR AND STARTS SHOUTING;
I'VE HEARD ENOUGH OF YOUR STUPID BLONDE JOKES'.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN STEREOTYPE WOMEN THAT WAY?
WHAT DOES THE COLOR OF A WOMAN'S HAIR HAVE TO DO WITH HER WORTH AS A HUMAN BEING?
IT'S GUYS LIKE YOU WHO KEEP WOMEN LIKE ME FROM BEING RESPECTED AT WORK AND IN THE COMMUNITY, AND FROM > >REACHING OUR FULL POTENTIAL AS A PERSON.  IT'S BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR KIND CONTINUE TO PERPETUATE DISCRIMINATION AGAINST NOT ONLY BLONDES, BUT WOMEN IN GENERAL....AND ALL IN THE NAME OF HUMOR!!!'.................
THE EMBARRASSED VENTRILOQUIST BEGINS TO APOLOGIZE, AND THE BLONDE YELLS,
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS"  "I'M TALKING TO THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD ON YOUR KNEE!"

Financial Planning

.....from Peter Fernandes in Mumbai, on 15 March 2011

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died,  he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. 

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit $200 million."

 Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother....

 Women are so much better at financial planning than men.