The truck driver was so impressed with this quick-fix answer and asked the patient "How come you are so smart and intelligent and you are here at the mental hospital?"
Sunday, 20 March 2011
Do not judge people by mere looks.....or academic background
The truck driver was so impressed with this quick-fix answer and asked the patient "How come you are so smart and intelligent and you are here at the mental hospital?"
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
Dumb Blond... !?
WITH HIS DUMMY ON HIS KNEE, HE STARTS GOING THROUGH HIS USUAL DUMB BLONDE JOKES.
SUDDENLY, A BLONDE WOMAN IN THE 4TH ROW STANDS ON HER CHAIR AND STARTS SHOUTING;
I'VE HEARD ENOUGH OF YOUR STUPID BLONDE JOKES'.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN STEREOTYPE WOMEN THAT WAY?
WHAT DOES THE COLOR OF A WOMAN'S HAIR HAVE TO DO WITH HER WORTH AS A HUMAN BEING?
IT'S GUYS LIKE YOU WHO KEEP WOMEN LIKE ME FROM BEING RESPECTED AT WORK AND IN THE COMMUNITY, AND FROM > >REACHING OUR FULL POTENTIAL AS A PERSON. IT'S BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR KIND CONTINUE TO PERPETUATE DISCRIMINATION AGAINST NOT ONLY BLONDES, BUT WOMEN IN GENERAL....AND ALL IN THE NAME OF HUMOR!!!'.................
THE EMBARRASSED VENTRILOQUIST BEGINS TO APOLOGIZE, AND THE BLONDE YELLS,
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS" "I'M TALKING TO THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD ON YOUR KNEE!"
Financial Planning
.....from Peter Fernandes in Mumbai, on 15 March 2011
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother....
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Monday, 14 March 2011
Indicators to recognize a Stroke
Stroke has a new indicator
Blood Clots/Stroke - They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue
STROKE:
STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) ..she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.
They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Jane went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening.
Jane's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 pm Jane passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Jane would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.
It only takes a minute to read this.
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR. Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (i.e. It is sunny out today.)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue
NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the otherthat is also an indication of a stroke.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.
I have done my part. Will you?
Sunday, 13 March 2011
Letter from Claudius Pais
Subject: Hello & how are you??
Hello Maxie,
How's it going? I was thrilled to hear that there is going to be another 1960 re-union in Jan. 2012. I would like to join this one, my regrets I could not join the last one.
Besides, I am feeling guilty for not contributing to the last scholarship fund. You may count me in for the next scholarship if you are planning one.
I had some difficulties from all directions. As a matter of fact, I was in Toronto visting my daughter when you had come. I would have joined Ossie, Terence and self when you had the gettogether. But I met Osie and Terence separately on other occasions, in fact Terence came to my daughter's place, picked me and my wife Sybil, took us to his place and entertained us with nice food and drinks.
I don't have Harry's email address. If you happent to talk to him, you my give him my new phone number, which I have given below. I was supposed to go to India last January, but our daughter booked us all on a Eastern Caribean Cruise and we could not say NO to her.
You take care and all the best to you. Best of regards.
Claudius Pais
31-8355 Delsom Way
Delta, B.C. V4C 0A9
Canada
1-778-438-2085
--------------------------------------------------
On 13 March 2011 08:37, Maxwell Pereira wrote:
Dear Claudy,
It's good to hear from you... It would have been so wonderful if you too could have joined us when Ozzie, Terence and I met at Terence's in Toronto last September. We had so much fun!
Yes, as decided at the last reunion in June-2010, the second one is planned for Jan 2011 in Coondapur - the local contact-point person being our Dr Subodh Malli.
Unfortunately Subodh, I am told, is not on email.
But the Jan-2011 Reunion is being spearheaded by Arun Talwar (from Cardiff in UK) and by Harry Saldanha (in Mangalore).
Arun's email 'id's are available in the mail appended belolw.
I am copy-pasting below Arun's email sent yesterday, detailing tentatively the tentative plans for 24-25 January 2011. That should bring you abreast with the latest.
As regards the Scholarship Fund, I am sure your contribution will still be welcome, and you can send it to Fr Walter Andrade at St Aloysius. However, Harry would be the best person to advise you on this.
With warm regards,
Maxie
--------------------------------------------
Re: reunion 2012
On 13 March 2011 03:08, Raphael Maliakal wrote:
----------------------------------------------------
Reunion-2012
Dear friends,
Yes, here are the tentative plans for our second reunion.
24th. January 2012 . 8am leave for kundapur by bus; the journey I have been told should take approx. 2 hours. ( we will sing all the way non-stop)
Once we reach Subodh will be there to meet us and have a lovely lunch( I have been told by Leo the Kundapur cuisine is famous)
After lunch do some bird watching (feathered ones) at the bird sanctuary.
Evening after some hot tea and vadas head back for Mangalore.
25th. All day we can continue our get together - venues and programmes to be decided.
Harry has kindly consented to chair the organizing committee (thank you Harry) and he will get the ball rolling.
Let's hope we will have a lovely turn out, Leo with the famous five from Bangalore will be there.Raphael is not sure about coming, but he will try his best to be there.
Ozzie ,cannot make it as he is due to visit Mangalore this April.
I managed to speak to Bopayya and he has promised he will be with us, so has Maxie who will Fly straight from the US .
Peter has also promised to be there.
I hope Cyril and the others who couldn't make the last reunion will all also join us.
Please let me know if you can make it and ideas, suggestions to make the reunion extra special.
Lots of love
Arun
Saturday, 12 March 2011
what does a woman want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage,
made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
What would YOU do?
...
...
...
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
...
...
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Scroll down
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Things are going to get ugly!
Everything is fine
Subject: Everything is fine
Dear Maxie, Raphael, and all our old friends,
Cyril Veliath SJ
SJ House, Tokyo
Friday, 11 March 2011
earthquake and tsunami
Grades in Heaven!
PERFORMANCE & NOT POSITION
|
WINE OVER WATER
Date: 11 March 2011 04:16
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine,scotch,vodka,brandy or beer... and those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) , because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Poo, Wine = Health. Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, Than to drink water and be full of shit. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service! |
Thursday, 10 March 2011
Instituting the Class of VI-E 1960 Scholarship
Fr. Clifford Sequeira S.J
Head Master, St. Aloysius High School
Mangalore – 575003
Dear Fr. Clifford,
The VI E class of 1960 had a Golden Reunion in June 2010.
During, our get together it was decided that we set up a Fund to give Scholarship to economically weak students of the School. We had set a target of Rs.50, 000/- but we are happy to inform you that we have been able to collect Rs.60, 000/-. A cheque for Rs.60, 000/- is enclosed. This is a token of our appreciation for the quality education we received at St. Aloysius High School.
With Warm Regards,
Mr. Harry Saldanha & Fr. Walter Andrade S.J
On behalf of Class of 1960
DRAFT Terms and Conditions for the Award of Scholarships.
1. The Scholarship is to be named as Class of VI E, 1960 Scholarship.
2. The 'Corpus Fund' may be made into a Fixed Deposit giving a high rate of interest.
3. Two Scholarships are to be given every year – one for a boy and a girl from the interest accrued.
4. The beneficiaries should be from the economically weaker sections of the Society.
5. Beneficiaries should have good academic record, should be well behaved and well motivated.
6. The Head Master in consultation with the staff will choose the beneficiaries.
7. The scholarship cheques may be given on the Annual School Day and names of the beneficiaries may be sent to the under signed.
Can't take a chance
|
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
Intellectually Challenged
Monday, 7 March 2011
Scholarship Fund
Sub:-Establishment of VI E class of 60 Scholarship in SACHS
Congratulations, we have exceeded the target and so far
collected Rs.57,436/-. Thanks for your generosity.
Harry and I are drafting the guidelines to be given to
the Headmaster regarding the beneficiaries in the School etc...
Thanks again,
With much love,
Fr. Walter S.J
Please forward this mail to all our class mates.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
With best regards and looking forward for our next Reunion alongwith a few of our
dear classmates whom we missed a lot the last time in our midst,
Peter
Rgds,
Prabhakar
From: Maxwell Pereira <mfjpkamath@gmail.com>
Date: 6 March 2011 14:08
Date: 7 March 2011 06:57
Prabhakar is for merit. Maxie is for sports. I am for merit, sports and means plus motivation. My take is people with merit will easily get the necessary scholarship. I love sports but I don't see a need to promote sport with a scholarship. I would love to give the scholarship to one who has the motivation and is ready to work hard towards his/her dream. I know it is a difficult selection process.
Just a thought, why not let the English medium class teacher select one of the students for the scholarship. If there are more than one English medium, rotate the classes so all English medium teachers get a turn to select the student.
I feel means + merit + motivation should be considered in the selection process. Money should be given only for students who go to higher studies after high school.
I know we will have different ideas. If my idea does not make sense or is not practical, just forget it. Let us put the money to good use. Good luck to Harry and Walter with establishing the guidelines.
Sincerely
Raphael Maliakal
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From: prabhakar ullal bhat
Date: 7 March 2011 15:45
It would be better if the yardstick is made known & agreed upon before the scholarship scheme is announced. I am sure that Harry & Walter will take care of this.
Prabhakar
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