Damn music

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized
I desperately needed to fart.  The music was really,
really  loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of  songs, I started to feel better.   I
 finished my pint and noticed that  everybody was
staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening
to my iPod.

EAT FRUIT on empty stomach

An interesting article.    EATING FRUIT  This is informative!  �  We all think eating fruit means just buying fruit, cutting it up and popping it into our mouths. It's not that easy. It's important to know how and when to eat fruit.  �  What's the correct way to eat fruit?  �  IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUIT AFTER A MEAL! FRUIT SHOULD BE EATEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.  �  Eating fruit on an empty stomach plays a major role in detoxifying your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life's activities..  �  FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD. Let's say you eat two slices of bread, then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it's prevented from doing so.  �  In the meantime, the whole meal rots and ferments, and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach, and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.  Eat your fruit on an empty stomach, or before your meal! You've heard people complain: Every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc. This will not happen if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. Fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas. Hence, you bloat!  Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes - all of these will NOT happen if you eat fruit on an empty stomach.  �  There's no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruit becomes alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruit, you have the Secret of Beauty, Longevity, Health, Energy, Happiness and normal weight. When you need to drink fruit juice drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from cans. Don't drink juice that has been heated. Don't eat cooked fruit; you don't get the nutrients at all. You get  only the taste... Cooking destroys all of the vitamins.  Eating  whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it. You can go on a 3-day fruit-fast to cleanse your body. Eat fruit and drink fruit juice for just 3 days, and you will be surprised when your friends say how radiant you look!  KIWI: Tiny but mighty, and a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange!  AN  APPLE a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhance the activity of vitamin C, thereby helping to lower the risk of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.  STRAWBERRY: Protective Fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits & protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging free radicles.  �  EATING 2 - 4 ORANGES  a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones, and reduce the risk of colon cancer.  WATERMELON: Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system. Also a key source of lycopene, the cancer-fighting oxidant. Also found in watermelon: Vitamin C & Potassium.. GUAVA & PAPAYA: Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene, good for your eyes..  Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer! Can you believe this? For all who like to drink cold water, this applies to you. It's nice to have a cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you've just consumed, which slows digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer.. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.  A serious note about heart attacks. HEART ATTACK PROCEDURE Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw. You may never have  first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. Sixty percent of people who have a heart attack while they're asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Be careful, and be aware. The more we know, the better our chance to survive.  �  A cardiologist said if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life. It  can even be your life!

Have A Laugh

LET  US  HAVE  SOME   LIGHTER   MOMENTS…

1 . If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life! 

2 . Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian . Think about it . 

3 . Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the Admiration! 

4 . Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world! 
That's called Attitude . Keep on rocking! 

5 . Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!! 

6 . He was a good man .. He never smoked, drank had no affair . When he died,the insurance company refused the claim . They said, he who never lived, cannot die! 
 
7 . A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles . He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles! 


8 . So many options for suicide: 
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow but sure! 

9 . Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends! 


10 . All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or Married to someone else! 

11 . 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving . 
This makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking! 

Talking clock

From: Trilochan Bailur on 14 August 2010

THE TALKING CLOCK !!?

 

After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

 

'What's that big brass gong?' one of the guests asked.  
'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the drunk replied.

'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend.

'YUP, it is' replied the drunk.

 

'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it.

'Watch,' the drunk replied. He picked up  the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.

 

The three stood looking at one another for a  moment.......  
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed,

'You ASSHOLE!
It's THREE-FIFTEEN in the MORNING!'

Tasty Cuisine

From: Trilochan Bailur on 14 August 2010

Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me, son." the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did. "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did. "Now we eat everybody." And they did. When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?" His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the potty inside!"

Website - 1900 to 2006 AD - Check News in any year.

.....this came from Trilochan Bailur ...on august-09

Very interesting indeed!

Website - 1900 to 2006 AD -

Check for News in any year.

A website for anyone born in/from 1900 to 2006 AD !

CLICK ON THE YEAR YOU WERE BORN, AND READ THE NEWS FOR THAT YEAR.

                   _1900_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1900.html ) 
                   _1901_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1901.html ) 
                   _1902_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1902.html ) 
                   _1903_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1903.html ) 
                   _1904_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1904.html ) 
                   _1905_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1905.html ) 
                   _1906_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1906.html ) 
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                   _1972_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1972.html ) 
                   _1973_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1973.html ) 
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                   _1990_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1990.html ) 
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                   _1994_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1994.html ) 
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                   _1996_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1996.html ) 
                   _1997_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1997.html ) 
                   _1998_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1998.html ) 
                   _1999_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 1999.html ) 
                   _2000_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 2000.html ) 
                   _2001_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 2001.html ) 
                   _2002_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 2002.html ) 
                   _2003_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 2003.html ) 
                   _2004_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 2004.html ) 
                   _2005_ ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 2005.html )
                   _2006_  ( http://www.infoplea se.com/year/ 2006.html

 

THREE CONTRACTORS

....'midst all the raging controvery if you really want to lnow how we Indians are going about organizing the impending Commonwealth Games, just read the joke that Trilochan Bailur has sent with his best regards. It is good and "clean" he says, and hopes you like it.................

 

Three Contractors

 

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in 2007. A Pakistani, a Bangladeshi, and an Indian.

 

They go together with a White House official to examine the fence The Pakistani contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

 

'Well,' he says, 'I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

 

The Bangladeshi contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says... 'I can do this job for $400: $200 for materials, $100 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

 

The Indian contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, '$2,400.'

 

The official, 'Incredulous,' says, 'you didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'

 

The redneck contractor whispers back, '$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the Bangladeshi to fix the fence. 'Done!' replies the government official.

picasa albums

New content to view on the picassa albums....
just click on the 'url's given below....
Regards,
Maxie

http://picasaweb.google.co.in/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010RaphaelInDelhiGurgaon?authkey=Gv1sRgCJW82arMw_3-Rg#

http://picasaweb.google.co.in/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010BLoreAtPrabhakarSJul3?authkey=Gv1sRgCI2Ov-HjiuP9aQ#

Hilarious! Growing up without a cell phone

This is GREAT !!!!
If you are 40, or older, you may find this is hilarious!

I myself am over 65 !!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!  
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.  You've got it so easy!  I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!  
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet.  If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!  
2) There was no email!!  We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen!  Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there!  Stamps were 10 cents!
3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us.  As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes!  If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!  There were no CD players!  We had tape decks in our car.  We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless.  Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby!  Dig?
6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting!  If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!!  Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!!  And then there's TEXTING.  Yeah, right.  Please!  You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was!  It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!!  You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics!  We had the Atari 2600!  With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'.  Your screen guy was a little square!  You actually had to use your imagination!!!  And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever!  And you could never win.  The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!  Just like LIFE!
10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing!  You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!!  NO REMOTES!!!  Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.  Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
12) And we didn't have microwaves.  If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove!  Imagine that!    
13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long.  Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort.  And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!  
And car seats - oh, please!  Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on.  If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!  
See!  That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten!  You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970   or any time before!

Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd

generation gap

From: Trilochan Bailur on 2 August 2010......................

Generation gap
An Indian teen was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother. This is how he went about it.
"So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something... . Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so..... he decided to get his wife and his bro along.... you know...so that they could all chill out together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devil s and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows.... so it was fine. But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood.. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood.... Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest... and anyways... it gets kinda boring, you know.... no TV or malls or shit like that. So, they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so since they had some lamps, they lit the lamps ...so it was pretty cool... you know with all those fireworks... And this is how it started!"
The younger brother understood perfectly. The mother fainted.

The Woman! ......is smarter......!!!!

from Claudius Pais via Raphael...

There was a filthy rich man in Boston and he had a smart wife.  It so happened the rich man fell ill and was in his death bed.  He calls his wife one day and tells her, " Honey I may die any
day now.  I have generated lot of wealth for you, please enjoy it after me.  However you have to do me a favor.  After I die before I am burried, could you please place $100,000 in my casket and then I can be burried."  His beloved wife agreed.

So the day came the rich man dies and his body was taken to the cemetery and before they close the casket the wife comes with a large envelope and places it in the casket and  the rich man was burried.

One of the wife's friend asked in a quiet tone, "Don't tell me you have inserted $100,000 in that envelove that you placed in your husband's  casket".

The wife replied, "What I did was, deposited that $100,000 into my account and wrote him a check and placed it in the casket". 
The moral of this story is:  The women are smarter than men because they are made that way.  I am not a Doctor or a medical professional, but I know for a fact that women think from both side of their brain, but men from only one side.  Women do not take risks, they have to be sure of anything they do, hence there are very few fighter women pilots and few women stock brokers.  I admire women because they can do multi-tasks at the same time.  They are capable of holding their infant in one arm, stir a pot of soup on the stove with the other arm, speak on the telephone and smoke a cigarete all at the same time. I don't think men can do these things all at the same time!!

Women...... Be Careful!!!

From: Trilochan Bailur, Anegundi Road,Bijai, MANGALORE 575004... on : 31 July 2010 with Best Regards........

On Women !!
Women are the best vehicles in the world because:

- 2 beautiful headlights in front,
- 2 great bumpers at the back,
- Self-lubricating when hot,
- Finger touch ignition,
- Automatic engine oil change every month,
- Any type of pistons fit,
- Multiple seating styles & adjustments,
- Great accessories,
- Highest mileage: 9 months in just 5 mL!

That's why MEN are dying to get a ride!!

URLs for the picasa web albums

Dear friends,
In response to Leo's email (appended just below), I am copy-pasting
the url of 15 albums against email id <staloysius1960@gmail.com>.
I am not sure whether this is convenient, and will help access the
albums with ease, since the email id is password protected, and I am
not very sure whether the URLs given below will allow access without
the password.
And if it allows, then there is the larger issue of privacy - you may
have noticed all the albums are "unlisted" and are nor in the public
domain; while our Blog is very much in the public domain.
Do let me know how it works for you - at least for those who haven't
been able to view the albums so far through the email links sent
directly through picasa via email.
Have fun..
Maxie

i) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010MLore19thJun5AllMugsGallery?authkey=Gv1sRgCIPkheC09NqA_gE#

ii) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacClass1960AssortedPictures?authkey=Gv1sRgCMGXtKnA-Iq4pwE#

iii) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010WithRaphaelinBostonJan1415?authkey=Gv1sRgCNTL8ZySxdH90QE#

iv) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010WithAruninCardiffFeb0405#

v) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010MLoreWithHarryCherry9April2010?authkey=Gv1sRgCLn2or2M56umogE#

vi) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010MLoreMaxieSAdvanceVisit8April10?authkey=Gv1sRgCNfo_IGgzpyvCw#

vii) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/Sac2010ReunionMLoreAtTerrenceSJun18?authkey=Gv1sRgCKu71NDx043isgE#

viii) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010MLore19thJun1BackToRoots?authkey=Gv1sRgCP_e0--bgZa2Yg#

ix) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010MLore19thJun2StAloysiusBiriCampus?authkey=Gv1sRgCKS036L72PntOg#

x) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010MLore19thJun3AtTheBeach?authkey=Gv1sRgCL3Ugs2R8snZ5gE#

xi) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010MLore19Jun4AtRoseVictorS?authkey=Gv1sRgCJGK2eCZmeaLDA#

xii) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010MLore20thJun1SundayMassCollegeChapel?authkey=Gv1sRgCOC4lJnmlvTdbw#

xiii) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacRenion2010MLore20Jun2MotiMahalBreakfast?authkey=Gv1sRgCKK-tMuJitbMWA#

xiv) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010MLore20Jun3PilikulaResort?authkey=Gv1sRgCNaA5KPdoZ_cwgE#

xv) http://picasaweb.google.com/108056315759348404973/SacReunion2010MLore20Jun4MangaloreClubDinner?locked=true#

picasa

From Leo: on 31 July 2010 at 11:45

dear maxie
i read from crossmails on the blog, there are six picasa uploads of
pix. i hv not rec'd the weblinks. i also don't see the picasa urls
posted anywhere on the blog. so, either i am missing something, or
i'm going blind.
maybe u hv mailed it to the old corrupted url that gave u the
bounces? simplest is to publish picasa urls on the blog, so it gets
to all.
best wishes ........ leo

Re: Invitation to view our Picasa Web Albums

Dear Claudy,
This is Maxie - Maxwell Pereira - and I am the one who has sent all of you the web albums, not Stany.
It is obvious you did not read my introductory email with pointwise notes on the creation of a new email id, and uploading of the pictures on to 16 picasa albums for all to view and enjoy.

Also anticipating the predicament of some of you who did not attend the Mangalore reunion in recognosing the others, the very first album I sent was only of everyone's faces - including of those who did not attend (but sent in their pictures at some stages) and of their wives.
So why don't you immediately send me a couple of pictures - of you and your wife, and such other which you may like to share, so that I can upload them here on relevant albums.
It would be wonderful also to get a write-up on you - whatever you would like to share with your former classmates - on how life has treated you in the last 50 years, about your family and children, even about life in Vancouver, whatever.... Thanks.
You may also like to visit our Blog regularly at http://sacclassof1960.blogspot.com/
That way you will never miss out on any of the interactions between classmates that are shared with the Blog - be it happennings, be it just jokes.
Would love you to keep in touch.
With warm regards,
Maxie

On 31 July 2010 04:24, Claudius Pais <cbpais@hotmail.com> wrote:

Invitation to view staloysius1960 reunion2010's Picasa Web Album - sacReunion2010M'lore: 19th Jun(1): Back to Roots

From: Claudius Pais reg Invitation to view staloysius1960 reunion2010's Picasa Web Album - sacReunion2010M'lore: 19th Jun(1): Back to Roots
Sent on : 31 July 2010 at 04:24am

Hello Stany,
Thanks for sending me the photo album of the 1960 reunion, much appreciated.
I wrote you an email, but did not receive a reply from you. Is this you style of ignoring your old friends who live far away. Even though I intend to attend the reunion, my prior commitments did not permit me to travel from Vancouver, Canada.
I enjoyed going thru all the pictures, but could not recognize anyone. I don't think you would recognize me either if I come over and meet you. So where do you live at present? Next time I visit Mangalore, will make it a point to meet all my school buddies in Mangalore. I still speak Konkany with my wife Sybil, still remember Tulu, Kannada & Hindi. Do you know I can speak a bit of Arabic, Cantonese, a few words in Korean & Japanese?
I like people and love starting a conversation with strangers and my wife just the opposite.
Harry phoned me a few times, but now I have moved from my old place and could not keep my old land telephone line, don't thinik he has my new telephone number. I am sorry do not have a mobile phone (we call it Cell Phone here) because don't find a need for it, but both of our kids have them, since it is a must in the modern world in order to look cool amongst their friends.
So hey big guy, drop me a line or two and you have my thanks in advance. Take care,
best of regards.
Claudy Pais

How great Minds work.

From: Peter L. Fernandes on 30 July 2010

 

                                                                                                           A Great Mind

 

 A question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen asked how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer.

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, and then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

 "Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."

 "Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring

force T = 2 pisqroot (l / g)."

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

 "If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'." 

 The student was Niels Bohr. He gave us the structure of an Atom, for which he won the Nobel Prize in 1922.

At the Pearly Gates...

From: Peter Fernandes.... on 30 July 2010

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello, How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery.

I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I travelled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him. "Which word?" her husband asked.

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis", she replied.

Kerala

On 28 July 2010 at 03:13, Raphael Maliakal sent us:

....some amazing pictures of sights and activities in Kerala...

Unfortunately the pictures being of very low resolution and not downloadable attachments but directly pasted on to the email - they do not carry to the Blog with my limited knowledge for such things.

 

My response to Raphael...........

Very nice, Raphael...

A real visual treat.... God's own country!

Maxie

...promptly, there was this message from Leo Cunha on 28 July 2010 at 08:42
Subject: Re: Kerala

hey maxie

  whatever happened to the pix u clicked at the reunion?!?!?  i recall u were the most prolific clicker of the lot, n u said u'd post them on the blog.  the blog is as barren as the sahara right now.  it cd sure do with some animation.  so why don't u .... ? 

  speaking of kerala, i'm invited by my engg college (psg, coimbatore,) to a reunion at trivandrum sept 1 to 4th.  my rail tkts r booked, i'm straining at the leash.  i'll be in god's own country too.                  

              ..........   cheers   ...    leo

 

Response:

A thousand apologies, Leo...

About the pictures, when you take too many of them, and take them combined with those of other activites, events and stations simultaneously clicked, one is saddled with a huge collating, selecting and editing problem.

Coupled with that the committments in hand haven't treated me well spare time wise, and hence the lethargy on my part.

I promise to get down to the task shortly. I hope the wait would eventually be fruitful and worth it, for y'all..

Regards,

Maxie

Positive husband!

Positive husband!
Husband and wife are about to go to sleep. The wife, standing in front of a full-length mirror, takes a hard look at herself, and says:"You know, dear," I look in the mirror, and see a middle-aged woman. My face is all getting wrinkled, my hair is going grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby."

She turns to her husband and says,

"Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

He studies her hard for a moment thinking about it

and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice,

"Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."